I have been avoiding this post for a week or so now. These last weeks have been heavy and sad, and coming here to update and move on has been something I have been avoiding. Though I have been away from the forums and from my log, I have not been away from my habits otherwise. I have, other than a few meals on a few days, stuck to the PN habits and done my workouts. This consistency has served me well. In an otherwise impossibly stressful time, these things have been an anchor and a comfort. As a result, I have gained only 1.5 pounds of weight, which for me is nothing short of a miracle. At one other stressful time in my life (though it was nothing like this), I gained 20 pounds in two months. My measurements are really no different and I actually think I'm a bit more defined and trim than I was a month ago. I emailed Krista to see if this was even possible and she assured me that it was. At least I'm not crazy in that regard.
Can you tell I'm avoiding the meat of the issues?
Ok, so, my dad died unexectedly May 1st. After spending the week in Tennessee for the funeral and tending to business, I was only home in Florida for less than 72 hours when my brother called to tell me Mama had fallen and broken her hip. Her hospital course was horrible and due to some significant negligence on physicians' parts, she ended up almost dying and spending five days in intensive care. Had she not had medical personnel at her side, she would have died. Despite being the youngest, I am the one my siblings turn to in times such as these, and I am the often the one left making difficult decisions, and there were lots of them. In short, it has been a horrible 6 weeks.
Thankfully, my mom is a fighter and she is getting better day by day. Her insurance has decided they're tired of paying for rehab (if anyone's elderly family has Blue Cross Blue Shield Advantage as their form of medicare, get the OFF of it NOW), so she will be coming home Friday. I will leave after work Saturday morning and spend next week doing our own set of rehab....and dealing with some other family issues that popped up today.
Behind the scenes, many of you have known these things and been popping into my life here and there to give me support and love. I can't even begin to tell you how much I appreciate those thoughts and prayers and sentiments. Though I only "know" all of you on the internet, it does not lessen our friendships to me, and you mean SO much.
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Friday, December 3, 2010
Back from Home
Finally back to the land of internet service...and back to work. I had a great visit with the family for Thanksgiving, but I'm glad to be home and in my routine again. Mom mentioned that I looked smaller, but no one else seemed to notice, and I hadn't mentioned to anyone up there that I was doing the program. I didn't meet my goal of 100% compliance, but I would say I did stay around 85% compliant, which for me is a big step during visits to the family. I don't think my weight went up this week which just might be a first for no weight gain while gone on a trip. LOL. I even gained weight when I went to the frikkin' RKC, the most physically demanding 4 days of my life. Oh well, we'll see what Saturday shows. It's all behind me now. I did get in my workouts, just shuffled them a little bit, and I have to say I have the utmost respect for you guys who have to go to a gym. That really is a totally different atmosphere. Some things about it help you push a little harder, but I'm not fond of people watching me while I work...or of sharing for that matter. I got to hang out with my godchildren for a little while while I was home. Here is the only pic I took or had taken of me all weekend which as to be some sort of record for this shutterbug. 
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Saturday, January 9, 2010
170#
I have thought of at least four or five things to write about tonight, but I'll stick to talking about that "170#" in the top left corner.
I sort of went off the edge a bit the last couple of months, finding myself struggling to keep my head above water emotionally. Finding a peaceful place in my life has been my foremost priority. and as such, my focus on some other things has fallen somewhat by the wayside. One of the things that fell by the wayside was my focus on nutrition. While I tried not to hoover every last thing in my path, I did eat way too much, and way too much of the wrong stuff, lots of sweets. And as a part of a deal with a friend, I chose not to weigh myself for the weeks between Thanksgiving and the new year, so I had no idea what effect this glutinous debauchery was having on my weight.When I finally did weigh a couple of days ago, I had gained six or seven pounds. All-in-all I can't say I'm disappointed. I really went way over the top with my eating.
Now, though, since the holidays (really a tortuous time for me) are over, I've had some time with my sweetheart cuddled up and enjoying our new home, and I've finally found some peace, my nutrition feels good again. I'm cooking most of our meals now, loving my new kitchen, and finding myself planning ahead--something I've not been capable of the last couple of months. Maybe that weight will come down more quickly than it has in the past...maybe. I'm actually hoping that the time off the stricter diet, at a higher weight, will help kickstart some further weight loss.
Here are some pics from our holiday visit with some of our chosen family. These are our Godchildren and their parents.
Mary and Josh are amazingly wonderful parents. Here is a prime example of how they spend time with the kids.
Abbiebear was none too happy at the stinky baby house.
Intently watching football together, a special treat for these two.
TODAY'S WORKOUT:
825 16kg swings in 39'37"
80 swings to begin, 25 sets of 10R/10L, 12 sets of 5L/5R/5L/5R, 5 to top it off
16kg TGU 1/1 x 2 to stretch things out at the end.
YESTERDAY NO WORKOUT
170#
I have thought of at least four or five things to write about tonight, but I'll stick to talking about that "170#" in the top left corner.
I sort of went off the edge a bit the last couple of months, finding myself struggling to keep my head above water emotionally. Finding a peaceful place in my life has been my foremost priority. and as such, my focus on some other things has fallen somewhat by the wayside. One of the things that fell by the wayside was my focus on nutrition. While I tried not to hoover every last thing in my path, I did eat way too much, and way too much of the wrong stuff, lots of sweets. And as a part of a deal with a friend, I chose not to weigh myself for the weeks between Thanksgiving and the new year, so I had no idea what effect this glutinous debauchery was having on my weight.When I finally did weigh a couple of days ago, I had gained six or seven pounds. All-in-all I can't say I'm disappointed. I really went way over the top with my eating.
Now, though, since the holidays (really a tortuous time for me) are over, I've had some time with my sweetheart cuddled up and enjoying our new home, and I've finally found some peace, my nutrition feels good again. I'm cooking most of our meals now, loving my new kitchen, and finding myself planning ahead--something I've not been capable of the last couple of months. Maybe that weight will come down more quickly than it has in the past...maybe. I'm actually hoping that the time off the stricter diet, at a higher weight, will help kickstart some further weight loss.
Here are some pics from our holiday visit with some of our chosen family. These are our Godchildren and their parents.
Note Lily's Titans dress. We were watching football.
Mary and Josh are amazingly wonderful parents. Here is a prime example of how they spend time with the kids.
Abbiebear was none too happy at the stinky baby house.
Intently watching football together, a special treat for these two.
TODAY'S WORKOUT:
825 16kg swings in 39'37"
80 swings to begin, 25 sets of 10R/10L, 12 sets of 5L/5R/5L/5R, 5 to top it off
16kg TGU 1/1 x 2 to stretch things out at the end.
YESTERDAY NO WORKOUT
Sunday, June 21, 2009
The Process of Making Up One's...okay MY... Mind
Saturday, June 20, 2009
off-162.5#
That 162.5 up there is a very frustrating number for me. It is what it is. It is the culmination of poor decisions made. It is too many dinners including bread. It's too many treats and too many meals eaten out. It is keeping my nutrition just enough in check that it doesn't go up any further but failing to dial it in with the type of precision necessary to ratchet it down further. And I've been thinking quite a lot about that failure, what motivates it, and what hinders me from getting past it. As with everything, I know there are multiple factors there. One of the biggest is laziness--pure and simple. It is easier, by far, not to worry about getting groceries in preparation to cook meals before I go to work which then requires the washing of dishes. It is easier to go out and let someone else do all the work. Even if I do make the most sane decisions possible when I eat out, the ingredients are suboptimal at best.
As I thought about my laziness, though, accepting it as the major reason for my failure just wasn't feeling right. I can overcome laziness--all I have to do is see light at the end of a tunnel. It can be a REALLY long tunnel; there just has to be light at the end of it. And therein lies the key. It occurred to me the other night that I do not see light. Somehow I just don't believe that I can get there. (There being 140#.) The tunnel is nothing but dark. In the times when I have completely hunkered down and weighed every last ounce of food that I've eaten, planned every move, followed the sage advice of those wiser than I (despite what they believed), the effort made little to no difference. Why would this time, should I finally crank it all down, be any different? If I don't truly try, I can't truly be disappointed.
And that realization brings to light what I believe is one of the other issues...complacency. Though I am not purely pleased with where I am, I am not as ashamed of it as I was two years ago in June, and I believe that hinders me in that it makes things harder. My diet was easier to make effective adjustments to, and my body was slightly more responsive. And it seems to make me less motivated for somewhat apparent reasons. A more positive influence on this complacency is my strength gains which have been consistent enough to keep me from feeling like a total failure in this endeavor and without which I'm sure I'd have pulled out my hair by now.
Now the key is going to be going from this stage of uber-analysis to one of action, and consistent action. One thought has been that since I'm finding it difficult to believe in my power to reach 140 (or thereabouts), I could find another thing to motivate me to stay on task for a prescribed amount of time, a "prize" maybe. My last couple of workouts have been spent trying to come up with something to do just that. Maybe I'm over-blessed. I'm having trouble thinking of a prize. :)
On different note, here are some pics from home...
My new nephew, the Duke. I call him that because his parents decided to bestow upon him the middle name of Marion.
You'd be surprised how frequently I inspire this response in people.
This was the most beautiful rainbow I have ever seen. I wish I'd had a 10mm or 17mm lens to get both ends of it. It was pure neon from end-to-end, both of which we could see. It also had like 6 or 7 plainly visible colors.
Again, a totally impromptu shot. I was holding the Duke when his big brother decided to climb up there at which point both big sisters had to join the pile. My big brother then grabbed my camera to catch it. Aren't they beautiful?!
TODAY'S WORKOUT:
Black and purple band Assisted pullups/elevated pushups
4, 4-rung ladders. (The 1rep rung, I did with just the purple band, and this was the first time I was able to do all the pushups elevated instead of having to drop to the knees.)
Assisted pistols: 3, 3-rung ladders interspersed between the rungs of pullups and pushups.
I actually ended up adding in 4 sets of 1/1 12kg counterbalanced attempts at pistols. I was feeling as if the assisted pistols weren't going much of anywhere,so I decided to try doing a pistol just with counterbalance. I can only get about a third of the way down, but I'm going to run with this instead of persisting with the assisted ones, and see how I progress from here.
4 30sec rounds of planks with 50 sec of rest b/w.
30 challenge burpees in 3'43"
20kg Tabata swings.
YESTERDAY'S WORKOUT: 80 Rounds of VO2 Max with the 12kg. The first 1/4 I hit 8 reps per round. The next 1/2 I hit 7 reps per round. Then much of the last 1/4th I only hit 6. Brutal.
Rest 5 min.
30 Challenge burpees in 9'40". YES THAT IS NINE MINUTES PLUS.
I actually didn't think I was going to get a workout in yesterday. I felt like doody for most of the day, but that passed about 1 am and I got outside and got busy. BTW, it's still really frikkin' hot at 1am. The air is rediculously still which is just WRONG when it's this hot.
off-162.5#
That 162.5 up there is a very frustrating number for me. It is what it is. It is the culmination of poor decisions made. It is too many dinners including bread. It's too many treats and too many meals eaten out. It is keeping my nutrition just enough in check that it doesn't go up any further but failing to dial it in with the type of precision necessary to ratchet it down further. And I've been thinking quite a lot about that failure, what motivates it, and what hinders me from getting past it. As with everything, I know there are multiple factors there. One of the biggest is laziness--pure and simple. It is easier, by far, not to worry about getting groceries in preparation to cook meals before I go to work which then requires the washing of dishes. It is easier to go out and let someone else do all the work. Even if I do make the most sane decisions possible when I eat out, the ingredients are suboptimal at best.
As I thought about my laziness, though, accepting it as the major reason for my failure just wasn't feeling right. I can overcome laziness--all I have to do is see light at the end of a tunnel. It can be a REALLY long tunnel; there just has to be light at the end of it. And therein lies the key. It occurred to me the other night that I do not see light. Somehow I just don't believe that I can get there. (There being 140#.) The tunnel is nothing but dark. In the times when I have completely hunkered down and weighed every last ounce of food that I've eaten, planned every move, followed the sage advice of those wiser than I (despite what they believed), the effort made little to no difference. Why would this time, should I finally crank it all down, be any different? If I don't truly try, I can't truly be disappointed.
And that realization brings to light what I believe is one of the other issues...complacency. Though I am not purely pleased with where I am, I am not as ashamed of it as I was two years ago in June, and I believe that hinders me in that it makes things harder. My diet was easier to make effective adjustments to, and my body was slightly more responsive. And it seems to make me less motivated for somewhat apparent reasons. A more positive influence on this complacency is my strength gains which have been consistent enough to keep me from feeling like a total failure in this endeavor and without which I'm sure I'd have pulled out my hair by now.
Now the key is going to be going from this stage of uber-analysis to one of action, and consistent action. One thought has been that since I'm finding it difficult to believe in my power to reach 140 (or thereabouts), I could find another thing to motivate me to stay on task for a prescribed amount of time, a "prize" maybe. My last couple of workouts have been spent trying to come up with something to do just that. Maybe I'm over-blessed. I'm having trouble thinking of a prize. :)
On different note, here are some pics from home...
Anneliese was absorbed with making her Uncle a pic for me to bring back to him. She was unbelievably precise in what she wanted to accomplish.
My new nephew, the Duke. I call him that because his parents decided to bestow upon him the middle name of Marion.
You'd be surprised how frequently I inspire this response in people.
This was the most beautiful rainbow I have ever seen. I wish I'd had a 10mm or 17mm lens to get both ends of it. It was pure neon from end-to-end, both of which we could see. It also had like 6 or 7 plainly visible colors.
Again, a totally impromptu shot. I was holding the Duke when his big brother decided to climb up there at which point both big sisters had to join the pile. My big brother then grabbed my camera to catch it. Aren't they beautiful?!
TODAY'S WORKOUT:Black and purple band Assisted pullups/elevated pushups
4, 4-rung ladders. (The 1rep rung, I did with just the purple band, and this was the first time I was able to do all the pushups elevated instead of having to drop to the knees.)
Assisted pistols: 3, 3-rung ladders interspersed between the rungs of pullups and pushups.
I actually ended up adding in 4 sets of 1/1 12kg counterbalanced attempts at pistols. I was feeling as if the assisted pistols weren't going much of anywhere,so I decided to try doing a pistol just with counterbalance. I can only get about a third of the way down, but I'm going to run with this instead of persisting with the assisted ones, and see how I progress from here.
4 30sec rounds of planks with 50 sec of rest b/w.
30 challenge burpees in 3'43"
20kg Tabata swings.
YESTERDAY'S WORKOUT: 80 Rounds of VO2 Max with the 12kg. The first 1/4 I hit 8 reps per round. The next 1/2 I hit 7 reps per round. Then much of the last 1/4th I only hit 6. Brutal.
Rest 5 min.
30 Challenge burpees in 9'40". YES THAT IS NINE MINUTES PLUS.
I actually didn't think I was going to get a workout in yesterday. I felt like doody for most of the day, but that passed about 1 am and I got outside and got busy. BTW, it's still really frikkin' hot at 1am. The air is rediculously still which is just WRONG when it's this hot.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Happy New Year!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Off--155#
I have definitely had a wonderful holiday season. The pictures below sort of work in reverse order. Part of our Christmas treat to ourselves and to some friends was to take a limo ride to Nashville to eat dinner at the Opryland hotel and walk around to see the lights. Here are some highlights of that and of the rest of my Christmas...
Though I partook of the Godiva, I skipped on the crown and Jack. All I could think about was how bad I felt after my last limo ride.
I promise I didn't imbibe. I'm just not photogenic. :) And, BTW, it's official, I'm definitely sick of my hair and going to change it up a bit. You can tell the hubby is really happy 'bout the pic, too.
Where we ate...
Robbie and Brandi peruse the deliciousness.
Checking out the Cascades conservatory.
The hubby waits for the limo. I had to take this from the hip to keep him from turning around.
I think Robbie had a little more to drink than I did.
A few nights ago, the weather was a little warmer than usual, so I decided to get out and play with my tripod and remote shutter release. This little house is down the street from my apartment and always has the most fun, happy Christmas decorations, so I decided to grab some shots of it.
Every year the little town where I live puts these lights on the highest tower in town to make this Christmas tree.
If you look really closely between the trees, you can see that tower of lights in the background. The foreground is the little pond in my back yard.
As we were waiting for dinner to get finished at Mom and Dad's, the kids decided to toss the football around for a little while. Here Michael takes his hand at it.
Grace looks on.
Sean
Mandy
Jessica
Mandy decides getting a piggy-back ride from her big brother is way more fun than trying to throw the pigskin.
The pictures from inside have some really soft focus which provided my two lessona for the night: I can't hand-hold for pics at a shutter speed of 1/20th of a second, and I consistently underexpose by about 1/3 of a stop. So the flash or the 50mm lens will come out next time.
Here Jess is trying to win her way into the family with her quick sense of humor.
Having already won his way into the family, the hubby shows his true colors.
I really hate this one didn't come out better. Shirley and Mandy are sharing a pretty good mother-daughter moment.
Just in case a solitary bow didn't win us over...
The Polly Pockets pool was a hit.
Noah inherited the bow.
Scott is not always pleased with his fiancee's sense of humor. The bow is SO not befitting a soon-to-be big city police officer.
My mom got me a version of the Bible called the "Doctor's Bible" and in these pics is writing the inscription in it.
My chest is bursting with love just going back over these pictures. I really am the most fortunate person in the world.
HAPPY, HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! MAY YOU FEEL AS BLESSED IN THE COMING YEAR AS I ALWAYS DO.
Off--155#
I have definitely had a wonderful holiday season. The pictures below sort of work in reverse order. Part of our Christmas treat to ourselves and to some friends was to take a limo ride to Nashville to eat dinner at the Opryland hotel and walk around to see the lights. Here are some highlights of that and of the rest of my Christmas...
Setting out to Nashville:Chris (a.k.a. Duckman), Izzie, Brandi, and Robbie
Though I partook of the Godiva, I skipped on the crown and Jack. All I could think about was how bad I felt after my last limo ride.
I promise I didn't imbibe. I'm just not photogenic. :) And, BTW, it's official, I'm definitely sick of my hair and going to change it up a bit. You can tell the hubby is really happy 'bout the pic, too.
Where we ate...
Robbie and Brandi peruse the deliciousness.
Checking out the Cascades conservatory.
The hubby waits for the limo. I had to take this from the hip to keep him from turning around.
I think Robbie had a little more to drink than I did.
A few nights ago, the weather was a little warmer than usual, so I decided to get out and play with my tripod and remote shutter release. This little house is down the street from my apartment and always has the most fun, happy Christmas decorations, so I decided to grab some shots of it.
Every year the little town where I live puts these lights on the highest tower in town to make this Christmas tree.
If you look really closely between the trees, you can see that tower of lights in the background. The foreground is the little pond in my back yard.
As we were waiting for dinner to get finished at Mom and Dad's, the kids decided to toss the football around for a little while. Here Michael takes his hand at it.
Grace looks on.
Sean
Mandy
Jessica
Mandy decides getting a piggy-back ride from her big brother is way more fun than trying to throw the pigskin.
The pictures from inside have some really soft focus which provided my two lessona for the night: I can't hand-hold for pics at a shutter speed of 1/20th of a second, and I consistently underexpose by about 1/3 of a stop. So the flash or the 50mm lens will come out next time.Here Jess is trying to win her way into the family with her quick sense of humor.
Having already won his way into the family, the hubby shows his true colors.
I really hate this one didn't come out better. Shirley and Mandy are sharing a pretty good mother-daughter moment.
Just in case a solitary bow didn't win us over...
The Polly Pockets pool was a hit.
Noah inherited the bow.
Scott is not always pleased with his fiancee's sense of humor. The bow is SO not befitting a soon-to-be big city police officer.
My mom got me a version of the Bible called the "Doctor's Bible" and in these pics is writing the inscription in it.
My chest is bursting with love just going back over these pictures. I really am the most fortunate person in the world.HAPPY, HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! MAY YOU FEEL AS BLESSED IN THE COMING YEAR AS I ALWAYS DO.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Finally, Getting Around to Thanksgiving
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Off--156#
I've intended to post these for a while now, and with these few days off, I'm finally getting around to it. Tomorrow will bring Christmas pics to round out the year, and in a few days I'll start my Blurb book which will be an archival quality printout of my blog--pictures and all--for this year, my own personal yearbook.
Kevin gives Mom a quick kiss on the forhead for making such a great dinner.
Perfect evidence that I get my attitude from my dad. :)
Mom and Dad's border collie mix, Gypsy, mooches a little love from Dave.
Definitely conspiratorial tweens--Sonora and Mandy share a laugh.
Abbie just can't believe she's not getting any more food than that!
Anneliese sits with her dad to take in a little TV...
...at least until the sleepies kick in.
Meanwhile Katy has stolen big sister's sweater and is having loads of fun buttoning and unbuttoning it at least a hundred times with a little bit of Grandmommy's help.
...Because perfect little hands aren't always perfect.
Katy, Jessica, Grace and Sean
Daddy's little girl.
Michael
Sno
Daddy had right carotid endarterectomy the week before Thanksgiving, and I got him these balloons while he was in the hospital. Noah spotted them tied to his bed, and came to get us, begging for a "boon." To keep things as fair as possible, Dad cut apart the balloons, giving one to each little one.
Noah was just enthralled.
My favorite pic of the night.
But this one and the next one come in pretty close seconds.
TODAY'S WORKOUT:
Double 16kg C&P ladders 5 3-rung--having to push-press that last rep on the third rung for now.
Double 16kg squats 4 2-rung ladders. (For whatever reason, my legs are feeling WIMPY)
16kg swings--Tracy Rif style (two R, two center, two L) for 2 min/rest 30 sec, then repeat for 4 rounds.
Off--156#
I've intended to post these for a while now, and with these few days off, I'm finally getting around to it. Tomorrow will bring Christmas pics to round out the year, and in a few days I'll start my Blurb book which will be an archival quality printout of my blog--pictures and all--for this year, my own personal yearbook.
Gracie spent a large portion of the evening drawing.
Kevin gives Mom a quick kiss on the forhead for making such a great dinner.
Perfect evidence that I get my attitude from my dad. :)
Mom and Dad's border collie mix, Gypsy, mooches a little love from Dave.
Definitely conspiratorial tweens--Sonora and Mandy share a laugh.
Abbie just can't believe she's not getting any more food than that!
Anneliese sits with her dad to take in a little TV...
...at least until the sleepies kick in.
Meanwhile Katy has stolen big sister's sweater and is having loads of fun buttoning and unbuttoning it at least a hundred times with a little bit of Grandmommy's help.
...Because perfect little hands aren't always perfect.
Katy, Jessica, Grace and Sean
Daddy's little girl.
Michael
Sno
Daddy had right carotid endarterectomy the week before Thanksgiving, and I got him these balloons while he was in the hospital. Noah spotted them tied to his bed, and came to get us, begging for a "boon." To keep things as fair as possible, Dad cut apart the balloons, giving one to each little one.
Noah was just enthralled.
My favorite pic of the night.
But this one and the next one come in pretty close seconds.
TODAY'S WORKOUT:Double 16kg C&P ladders 5 3-rung--having to push-press that last rep on the third rung for now.
Double 16kg squats 4 2-rung ladders. (For whatever reason, my legs are feeling WIMPY)
16kg swings--Tracy Rif style (two R, two center, two L) for 2 min/rest 30 sec, then repeat for 4 rounds.
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