Mojo...Or Lack Thereof

 

I've been busy the last several weeks as we continue to prepare for our adventure. The motor home is getting packed up and organized. Luna's been to the vet for a check up and vaccinations. Laundry has been done...and done some more, and life has been in a bit of upheaval.  With it my mojo seems to have been packed away somewhere, and I find myself having to really push to get out and do what I know I must to stay sane--workout.  I get out there, though, and I work. I even push and then push a little harder although I suspect I could push even harder if I tried. 

Since the successful end of my Whole30, nutrition has been even more of a challenge than the workouts. I suspect stress is a big factor. I continue to have the twitch in my eyelid, the nightmares and just general anxiety, something I am unaccustomed to fighting for this long. I hope that as we hit the road next week, these things decide to melt away.

Going Mobile & Whole30 Day 12

The hubby and I are preparing for our next big change in life--hitting the road and traveling for the next couple of years, working here, there and yon. One of the things I will miss dearly is my own little therapeutic space. I love Gym Jen. I find peace there. I won't be completely leaving it behind, though. I'll be taking the portable gear, including the kettlebells, the TRX, the sandbags, etc., with me. I've done this for a long time when we went on vacation, but this time it'll be a bit more permanent, so I'm taking more of my gear. Here's a peak at this week's "Mobile Gym Jen."

Also, today is Day 12 of my second Whole30. Still trucking along okay, but the cravings have increased a little today. Tolerable, though.

There's Just No Denying It

Whole30, Day 7. Yesterday the "carb flu" started to set in. My legs are aching, and my head is a bit woozie, a little unclear. Despite these bumps in the road, I cannot deny my body likes this way of fueling myself. Marc asked me yesterday what was up. He said that I was "glowing." =) Already the fuzzies are diminishing (I know that may be TMI, but I think it's pertinent, so I mention it). And today I started a menstrual cycle (again TMI?). It's been a few months since my last one, and I have no doubts that this one stems from hormones falling back into kilter. I'm not sure exactly which thing is causing my grumpies, but my patience has definitely worn thin.

Whole30--Day 5

I think I'm beginning to get into the grumpies and the fatigue--just barely. I have had a minor headache for the last three days. My workout today did not feel as strong as usual, and my attitude has been poopy. Then again, maybe I just have a crappy attitude.

On a happier note, Mama's Gerbera daisy bloomed today. I like to think it's her sending me a smile.

Whole30#2--Day 4

I decided a while back that I would do a second Whole30 after getting back home from my "holiday" trip to Tennessee. Hopefully this time I will be better able to ease back into some of the eliminated foods to ascertain my tolerance of them. Today is day four of that project, and I am ravenous...emotionally. Physically my appetite is well controlled, and I don't feel hungry at all. Emotionally, I miss my stevia sweetened tea like a toddler misses its woobie, and I want to nibble constantly.  Part of me feels a bit less dedicated to this process than last time, but I will finish it. It will be done--in 27 days.

Turns Out It's Uncertainty

Over the last few weeks I've grappled with emotional eating more than I have in the last two years, and I have found that odd. Surely losing both my parents and my babygirl would stress my resolve as much as it could be stressed. I have turned my stressors over and over in my mind, and I think I've reached a pretty fair conclusion. I can deal with certain pain--or certain happiness. It's uncertainty with which I struggle. As we change from our current lifestyle, and prepare for the next phase of life, things are taking a while to fall into place, and that is wearing on my emotions. The last major weight gain I had was over twenty pounds in two months--in a time of great uncertainty. Better mind my P's and Q's.

Dare Mighty Things

"The Year of Broken Things." That is the way 2012 will forever be remembered in my mind. It was full of heartbreak and disappointment, and while I try not to wish time away, I am glad to say "good riddance" to it. I know it held some great and wonderful things, but I don't have the time to think long enough to remember them. When I woke up on the morning of December 31st, I felt a lightness of heart that I couldn't remember. I felt good--physically and emotionally--and suddenly, having felt that way once again, the absence of it in the past year and a half was felt all the more.

A couple of days before the end of the year I came across this quote from Theodore Roosevelt, "Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the grey twilight that knows not victory nor defeat." It reached out to me, as things sometimes will, and struck me as a good thought to tuck back for the coming year. Specifically, "DARE MIGHTY THINGS" jumped out. 

One of Marc's friends asked him a few months ago if I had made it through my mid-life crisis yet. After I got over being pissed off that he accused me of being middle aged, I realized he was right. I've spent the last two years or so trying to figure out my place in the world, trying to decide if my career path was completely off track or if it was just at a less scenic point in the journey. That self-reflection along with some ideas that we've been tossing back and forth for years has led to some major changes for us. I've quit my current job, and Marc and I have decided to focus a little differently on life for the foreseeable future. The rough draft has been put in place, but we're still working on the details. This quote reminded me that as we grow up and age, we lose our imagination in a lot of ways and sometimes lose faith in our ability to accomplish great things. Without imagination or faith, we stumble along in the same safe rut, never seeing the other beautiful things we can do.

So while 2012 was the Year of Broken Things, 2013 shall be the Year of Daring Mighty Things.