Reminders

Sunday, June 28, 2009
Work 8p-8a, 163.5#

How quickly life can derail us never ceases to amaze me. My mind is getting closer and closer to reaching the place where it needs to be in terms of mindset for weightloss. I feel closer than I have in months to a point where I can truly buckle down and make some progress,and I expressed part of that last week with my post about goals. The weekend, however, brought a reminder of how easily an effort can be thwarted and, simultaneously, a reminder of how amazingly fortunate I am. Friday I did well in terms of sticking to my nutritional plan until late in the evening when I found myself confused and a bit heartsick. I was upset and emotionally taxed, and I could hear the angel on one shoulder, the devil on the other as I thought about my friend's Oreos on the counter. Though rationally I knew they would do little for me, and ultimately I would be disappointed in myself, I poured a glass of milk, sat down with a third of a package of Oreos and willingly, consciously ate the WHOLE thing. I sat there, enjoying the taste of every bite and knowing with each one that it was not what I needed or even truly what I wanted. I found myself feeling as if I were punishing myself with the Oreos. I didn't know exactly what for, but that was how I felt. I know that makes no sense, but that is how it felt. And somehow afterward, I didn't and don't feel guilty about eating them. I had thought consciously about what I was doing before and during. Each cookie was a choice, one made with full awareness of the potential consequences, and I accepted them. The next night I had a similar derailment involving a Butterfinger milkshake and fries, again, thought out and accepted before and after. Oddly enough, I've not beat myself up over these transgressions but accepted them for what they were, and now I am moving on. I am actually proud that I am picking up where I left off. My "week" of success will simply be measured from a new starting point as I pick up and begin again. Somehow, I feel like there was actually some progress made by accepting this as I have and moving on in the manner that I have, so I am satisfied with it as opposed to frustrated as I would have been in the past. Certainly that can only be progress.

In the midst of this, I am reminded how amazingly fortunate I am and how very much I love my dear husband.

....Reminders :)

WORKOUT: Sunday, a day off as usual

SATURDAY'S WORKOUT:
5 rounds of:
20kg C&PP x 2/2, 16kg C&P x 3/3
Elevated perfect pushups
20kg walking lunge x 10
double 20kg deads x 5
plank x 30
***I hit the first C&P with the 20kg as a strict press during all 5 rounds on both sides. This continues to get stronger and feel better. I am REALLY proud of this progress as well as the progress I am feeling in those pushups. I have gone relatively quickly from having to do the last 2-3 rounds on my knees to being able to do all rounds elevated.

FRIDAY'S WORKOUT: I took this day off due to some muscle and joint strain issues contributing to a whopping migraine.