What Matters--And It's Not Meltdowns

Thursday, March 19, 2009
Work--160#

Sometimes, in the midst of stress, we find brief moments of the purest clarity. I had a nutritional meltdown at work last night. I spent my shift Wednesday night on the verge of tears, sometimes when it was slow and quiet allowing them to break through briefly. From the beginning of the shift, I fought the urge to send the tech out for some sugar-laden decadence during one of his McDonald's runs, and eventually caved in, getting a bag of cookies and a bag of M&M's from the machine. For whatever reason, this binge was not followed with the usual self-flagellating guilt. Instead, I crumbled the empty bag and I realized that that one bag of M&M's which followed that one bag of cookies was just that. One bag. And in the grand scheme of things, it really didn't matter. Neither did the bag of cookies. What mattered was that my mother was sitting in a hospital bed with a broken pelvis worrying that my dad might have a hypoglycemic episode that could kill him if she were not there to pick up on it in time. What mattered was that if it did, he would know that I love him and he is the most wonderful father in the world. What mattered was that she know that I love her and that I can never thank her enough for the years upon years that she has spent caring for all of us and worrying about all of us. What mattered was an infinite number of things--but all of them had to do with the people I love. Not a single one had anything to do with that bag of M&M's or that bag of cookies, or the 25 pounds I still need to get rid of. So the binge ended. Right there.

A few more pics of Ginnie Springs, one of the prettiest places on the planet.

TODAY'S WORKOUT: (Thanks, Mr. Calleo for the inspiration.)
10 20kg swings, 1 All-out Burpee (standing drop front to ground and come back all the way up into a jump with arms overhead)
10 20 kg swings, 2 all-out burpees,
10 20kg swings, 3 all-out burpees, all the way up to 10 all-out burpees...
Then do 10 20kg swings, 10 all-out burpees and work back down to 1 burpee.
It's AWESOME! :) I had a friend in small crisis during this and was having to text some on my breaks, but I did it in 33' 36". I like it.