Facing Things Head On

Thursday, September 25, 2008
Work 6p-8a--154#

My last name growing up started with an "A." As a result, I was most often first for everything, good and bad, in school. Oral presentations, PE performance evaluations, whatever--I was always the first to be required to step up. Years of doing this conditioned me to look forward to this position-no long, drawn out period of dread--approach the project prepared, do the work, sit back and watch as everyone else sweated the wait. Eventually, I just started volunteering to be in the first 3 or 4 of anything. I hated sitting, waiting, doing nothing as my mind drummed up a thousand ways I could fail or otherwise humiliate myself.

My dad, an ex-Marine, was aware of my fear of the dark. As a result, he would always wait until the last small glimpse of light was disappearing to tell me about those times I needed to be the one to feed the animals or the one to take the garbage out. On a small farm in rural Tennessee, we had no outside lights around the house, much less the barn. My father always felt they ruined the view of the night sky (as an adult I now agree, but I'm still glad he eventually added the light to the outside of the house that we can turn on when we need it). The barn was about 200 yards from the house and, at the time, had no lights at all, so I had to go with a flashlight--if we had one with batteries that worked. Absolutely scared out of my mind, I would make the walk to the barn, do the feeding and watering, and absolutely haul ass back to the house, all the while convinced that some soul-sucking goblin was lurking behind me ready to pounce at any moment. But I went, and I got the job done. And at some point 20 or so years later, I realized what he was doing all those years. He was showing me how to function in the face of my fears. I have an amazing father.

Too bad he didn't know what a block I've got about jumping...

So today when I approached my workout which was scheduled to be 3 light rounds of 12 16kg snatches per side followed by a minute of rest, I decided I had to know if I could get 50 snatches with the 16. I started with the less strong arm, getting 23, then got 25 with the stronger one. I'm two away. Not what I hoped, but better than it could have been. Then I finished the other rounds.

On a different note, many, many thanks to all of my friends out there who continue to read what I have to say and who comment and give words of encouragement, including much needed swift kicks in the ass. I really can't even begin to tell you how much I appreciate you and enjoy our friendship.

More pictures from this weekend...I put them in because I love seeing everyone else's pics, regardless what they're of. Should you begin to bore of them, or become annoyed by their presence, please let me know.