Wednesday, January 26, 2011


I work in an ER which can be a pain in my ass. People are idiots which keeps me in a job and drives me crazy all at the same time. The job does, however, give me some great and wonderful gifts. One of these is a keen awareness of just how precious life is in its many facets.

I have done a lot of things, have led a charmed life really. I have skydived, and kayaked rivers. I am a cave diver, have been diving all over the Carribean and the US. Swum with dolphins in the wild, been diving with sharks on multiple occasions. I live in one of the cave diving capitals of the world. I have held the lives of others in my hands and watched them take their last breaths despite anything I could do for them--and watched them take their first breaths as they came into the world. I have given people the joy of finding out they were pregnant and given them the worst news of their lives as I told them their mate or parent or child died or that they were filled with cancer. While my life has not been as dramatic or full of impact as some, it has been full, and I am thankful for it. And I don't mention these things to brag. Rather I say them to illustrate that my life has not been without drama and adventure, I have done and continue to do, many of the things that people tend to list in the things that they want to do "when."

I am also an avid people-watcher. I watch people--study them. I really, truly look at them as I'm going about my day wherever I am. People actually probably think I'm crazy, but I do. And seeing people in their last days and hours can be enlightening. No matter how young or old, I've never heard someone in their last days and moments talk about climbing mountains or jumping out of planes or doing any other grand and wonderous, adrenaline-pumping thing. They talk about the people they love and Sunday dinner and how goofy so-and-so was. They hold hands and take each moment and hold onto it as tightly as they can. They roll outside (if they can) to watch the sunset, or they watch it from a window. They go out and bring in favorite foods. They rent favorite movies. They tell family stories and thank each other for things that happened years ago. And they hug, and they love, and they hold hands some more. Those families that don't get those last moments--the ones to whom I am giving that dreaded, horrible news of sudden loss? They never say, "but he never got to paddle class 6 rapids!" They worry about praise never given and love never expressed. They fret over arguments left unresolved and hard feelings never worked through. And they miss the little things--like the dirty clothes that person once left strewn through the house or their dirty glass that never got put in the dishwasher. I have learned a lot from both sets of experience.

While I still have a long "bucket list," my job has given me the gift of understanding that living truly comes in the small quiet moments of every day. Living is eating dinner every day with my love. Living is taking the time to go for walks and play ball with my girls. Living is talking to my mom every day on the phone and letting her and my dad know that I love them and hearing from them that they love me. Living is letting the house stay a mess while I go fly-fishing with my 80-year-old fishing buddy. Living is driving with the sunroof open and the windows down. And living is SO many other things in my day-to-day life that I try to remember not to take for granted.

So live the big moments and the little ones and start doing it right this second. Living has almost nothing to do with your pant size.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

I'm Nothing If Not Stubborn

It's been 2 or 3 years in the coming, but it arrived today. I've been hitting the negative for 2 or 3 weeks now. Today I sort of forgot I couldn't get back up and what do you know? I could! Hooyah!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Take It From the Start

I have a decision making disorder. Those who know me well, know this well. Many of them have endured my belaboring thought processes over and over as I try to make up my mind about what to do. Their patience with my insanity is one of the many reasons I love my friends and try my best never to take them for granted. The decision that has tortured me for the last couple of weeks has been whether to continue my Lean Eating journey in the alumni program or to start again from the very beginning with a new group. My last group was such an amazing set of women that the thought of leaving their company broke my heart. After seeing my "after" pictures, however, I realized that I still have quite a way to go, and I can always keep up with my girls in their logs. The alumni program will still be there when this round is over.

In the the last six months in the August round of Lean Eating, I lost a total of 17.5 pounds and about 18 inches overall. I went from a tight size 10 to a 10 that is loose in the waist and full in the thigh. Considering the fact that all my prior efforts had gotten me nowhere, I am quite pleased with these results. I feel like I have internalized the habits well over these last six months, and they have become automatic, just a part of what I do. If anything, I have to remind myself to eat. For the first time in my life I actually forget to eat if I don't pay attention to the clock. The natural question that comes next is, "So why did you decide to do the program over?" My answer lies in the amount of progress I have yet to go. I want to look in a mirror or at a picture and immediately see muscle definition, not have to look hopefully for it. I think this will lie somewhere around the 140 pound mark. Right now I weigh 157.5 pounds. With this, I think my other goals will come. Somewhere along the way, the pistol and pull up will come. Seventeen pounds makes quite a difference in a lift--even when it's body weight.
So there you have it. My three major goals
1. Readily visible muscle. Definition. Definition. Definition.
2. Pistol.
3. Pull up.

Via?..........................COMPLIANCE with the LE Coaching Program...100% with personalization along the way. I'm making steady progress now. If that slows, I'll adjust accordingly with Krista's help.
From August 1, 2010 at the start of the August, 2010 Lean Eating Coaching Program
From yesterday, after the August, 2010 Lean Eating Coaching Program

Sunday, January 9, 2011

What Has Precision Nutrition's Lean Eating Coaching Program Done for Me?

We are winding down our 6 months in the Lean Eating Coaching program, and one of our assignments recently was to answer the following questions. I thought it an appropriate post here.

Question 1: What are most proud of having accomplished during the first 6 months of this course?

Most proud of? I suppose that would have to be my beginning to change the voice in my head. That voice has beat me up over the last 37 years. It's told me how unworthy I am, how lazy and worthless I am. It has told me that I am fat and ugl and that I will always be that way. "Slug" and "Troll" were some favorite names given to me by the voice in my head. I have begun to quiet that voice now, though. Another voice now tells me how awesome my ass looks and how that ass is a result of those strong thighs in the mirror. The new voice loves my eyes and the curve of my lips, and the new voice tells me what a smart, creative hardworker I am. Sometimes the voices still argue a little but everyday the new one gets stronger.

Question 2: How are you different as a result of the LE Program?
So far I'm 16 pounds lighter. I eat better and more often. I plan ahead a little further. I eat more veggies. Hell. I eat SPINACH! LOTS of it. EVERY DAY! But I don't think that's what you mean. Mostly I am a lot nicer to me. I think that's the biggest change.

Question 3: What would yo tell someone who asked you if the LE coaching program was worth doing?
I would tell them to stand naked in front of a full length mirror and look themselves deeply in the eyes. Then look at themselves from head to toes. Then again lok themselves in teh eyes. And I would tell them to ask themselves a few questions. 1. Do they like what they see? 2. Are they ready to shut up, quit making excuses and change what they see? 3. Are they willing to be different inside and out? If their answers are "No," "Yes," and "Yes," then I'd tell them to run directly to the computer and get on the next waiting list.

Monday, January 3, 2011

My Own Little Trail

I promised a while back that I would post pictures of the trail the hubby pushed off for me while I was gone to Tennessee for Thanksgiving, and I did, actually, a week or so ago, but the post ended up in some cyber abyss somewhere.

Tonight I decided to try again, so here are some pictures and a map of the trail in my "backyard."

The purple line on the map is the property line around our 10 acres. The entrance to the acreage is in the top right, or north east, corner and the X is where our house is now. A marks the entrance to the trail, and the first pic is taken about 15 yards into it. The second pic is just of a particularly characteristic portion of the trail. B marks the spot on the trail where my favorite tree is. That's the last picture in the group. Point C is the third picture down which marks the switch from the new trail that winds through the woods and the one that has always been cleared around the periphery of the property. From point A to point C is 4/10 of a mile. The next pic is looking from point D to the point where the back opens up at point E. The next pic with the power line is point E, the back part of our property which includes an easement for a power line. The pic with the fence to the right is looking from F in the direction of G. The stretch from G to H is very similar to this pic. The next two pics are taken at H, the last from H looking out over the large front yard we have that is the clearing in the north east corner of the map. By following the square from C back to the C, I go another 4/10 of a mile, so from A to C to E, then G, H and back to C is a total of 8/10 of a mile.

It's one of the greatest gifts I've ever been given.
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