Friday, November 26, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving

I love Thanksgiving. It's one of my favorite holidays, a day of celebrating and acknowledging the good and wonderful in life. And I have an infinite number of things for which to be thankful. Maia said it best today as she mentioned how grateful she is for our group of ladies here. You all make my life better, and for that I am quite thankful.

As usual, I had to work tonight. I almost always work Thanksgiving night and often work the whole weekend. Missing holiday dinners is old hat for me, and by default for my husband since he often won't go to group get-togethers without me. This year I was almost a little pleased not to be tempted, but when some friends of ours invited us to share a place at their family table this evening, we just couldn't turn it down. They are our "family away from family" here in Florida, and sharing the afternoon with them seemed appropriate. While I had already planned not to do the "sugar-free" day until tomorrow (Friday), I hadn't planned a splurge. My planned splurge was for Saturday, when I'll fly home to TN and share a meal with my wonderful family. Life, and living, is about flexibility, so I decided to go ahead and make a splurge out of it but to do it sensibly. "Sensibly," for me, has historically been a nightmare. I am an "all or nothing" kind of gal. One bite often sends me over the edge until bedtime and a fresh, new start the next day. I did it tonight, though. I ate small bits--1/4c or so--of each dish, maybe 1/2 c of my favorite. And the slice of pie I had for dessert was half the size of my first piece of pie that I usually have. No seconds. All post-workout. My friend even insisted I bring the pie to work with me since she had three more that she had fixed, and I haven't continued to nibble at it or have another piece. It has beckoned to me; I have been tempted. But I haven't touched it. I have resisted. This, for me, is huge.
I will still splurge for dinner Saturday night but do so more sensibly than usual, and I'll be able to manage "sensible" again, no problem.

For the last couple of weeks I have been pondering my splurges. I usually do a splurge meal once a week, part of my routine of maintaining sanity. Otherwise everything stays PN compliant. I know, though, that to finish strong I need to tighten up the nutrition some, so I'm going to decrease the frequency of those splurges. I can't decide exactly when and where I'll place them, but they are going to be limited to get-togethers with friends and family instead of my usual splurge piled up on the couch with the girls--and no more all-out glutinous debauchery.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

The End of Lean Eating Phase 4/Month 4

As we approach the end of Phase 4, they ask us to reflect, and find 2 ways that our mindset and our habits have improved in the last 4 weeks (as they do at the end of each phase).

Before I even get there, I find myself flabbergasted that we are 2/3's of the way through this program. Johanna mentioned in her log the impact of fully internalizing the knowledge that our pictures are 2 short months away, and I sympathize with her. TWO MONTHS! OMG! It just doesn't seem like enough time to be where I want to be when I dump a chunk of money into some pictures. They will serve their purposes, however. One, I will have pictures for the end of the program. Two, I'll have a Valentine's Day picture for the hubby, and while I might like it better if I were all buff and defined in those pictures, he loves me and finds me beautiful as is, so he'll love them regardless. But, really, two months?!

And I'll not even begin to get into the sense of loss I already feel not having the daily lessons and the online connection with "my girls." I really hope the alumni program is all that I want it to be.

About two of the ways my mindset has improved...I find myself obsessing less about the details of everything and just doing what needs to be done. Mentally, the habits are just that. They are automatic, so much so that I had to delay the "Low Fat Day" assignment because I took my fish oil before I thought about it. Another thing I have noticed is that I find myself less "food motivated," to borrow a term our vet uses to describe Luna. I look forward to and enjoy my treat meals, but I do not obsess over them. I definitely feel much more in control of what I choose to eat and when.

My improvements in my habits really overlap my mindset improvements quite a bit. I consider the rote nature of practicing the habits one of my best improvements. My other habit improvement has been to truly begin to internalize the eating only until 80% full. I no longer feel disappointed with this. I do occasionally have difficulty finding balance with getting my veggies and protein in without becoming too full, but most often I do ok.

I feel myself settling into this as a permanent change. Occasionally that concept--of its being the way I will live from here on out--begins to stifle me a little, to give me a small sense of panic. Then I begin to think rationally about it, about having lived this program for the last four months, about its being a choice that I make with each meal, one that I can continue to make, or not continue to make. But I am internalizing it as a part of how I function. I have done this before with nutritional habits and "fallen off the wagon" as life stressors hit. I think, though, that with age has come a wisdom that will allow me to resist that. At least I hope it will.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

From My Lean Eating Log...

Wow, almost a week since I posted an update! Jeez, time really flies. I worked three of the nights then headed north to do a photoshoot for a friend's daughter. I did my measurement and weigh-in on Saturday before I left and had actually been looking forward to it because I was certain I was going to have favorable results. When I stood on the scale and saw that it had not budged, my heart sank like a stone. I just KNEW it was going to have gone down at least a couple of pounds. Ugh. I was nervous going into the measurements. I just couldn't face another week of miniscule change. I needed affirmation of what I had been feeling all week. Fortunately, I got it. I was down in girth several different places. Thank goodness. I'm so glad we measure progress multiple ways.

I completed our "Fit Friends" assignment today. Only my buddy and his wife were able to play, but we had a good time. We did a six station circuit. Thirty seconds at each station, 10 seconds to change stations, rest 30 seconds after the sixth station. Repeat for a total of 10 circuits: Swings, Burpees, Ropes, Farmer's walk, Sandbag cleans, Jumps onto a plyo box.
I had someone take a pic when we were done. Although I taught them to be able to swing properly, I failed to show them how to clean the kettlebell properly. So, the picture isn't the best. And I'm a total goober, also reflected in pic.
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Sunday, November 7, 2010

Positive Attributes.

This week has been a hard one for me with lots of soul searching on many levels. I was ridiculously sick this time last week, and thanks to life lessons and having a job that keeps me from having to formally go to the doc when I'm sick, I figured out on Tuesday that it was an early pneumonia. As badly as that sucks, I jumped on it full force with antibiotics, and I feel infinitely better this Sunday.
I missed a couple of workouts, and definitely let the nutrition slip a bit. Yesterday's intake was just plain ugly. That's the first time in over 3 months, though, and the binge was no where near as out of control as it would have been in the past, so I'll take it. Another difference is that I'm back on my game today. In times past, a day like yesterday would have sent me into days if not weeks of poor intake, of giving up.

Some of my frustrations this week stemmed from my wardrobe. The weather took a cool turn this week, and I dragged out some jeans from last year. I was anticipating their fitting better than they did last year, but they didn't. They fit about the same. This sent me into a tizzy. For a couple of days I was wondering why I'm even bothering with all this. I'm doing it to feel better about myself, to be able to do a pull up, to look like I'm as fit and strong as I know I am, to be a better example. So I think today I have my head out of my ass and screwed on straight again.

It seems like it's been a tough week for a lot of folks in the LE program. Maybe we're just reaching one of those times in the program where human nature is to begin to question things, and when life's stressors begin to overwhelm our initial resolve. On one log, there has been a conversation about how hard it is for women to acknowledge their positive attributes. I believe that we can overcome this difficulty if we put some effort into it and suggested that we spend a little time on our logs doing just that. I promised to start the trend with 5 of my positive attributes:
1.I am smart, with the precious gift my husband has given me to be able to think "outside the box".
2.I am tenacious.
3.I think I am good at making people feel cared for.
4.I am flexible, both physically and mentally. If one thing doesn't work out, I'm quick to move along to the next option without letting the change in direction throw me.
5.I communicate well.

For me, it's even harder to think of positive physical attributes, so I think I need to do an additional exercise. I think I need to think about those.
1. I love my hands. They are strong. My fingers are nimble. The palms are calloused, a testimony to the hours of work they do each week.
2. I like my neck. It is long and slender.
3. I have big eyes that I can really dress up with a little fun eye shadow.
4. I have fairly strong legs.
5. I have interesting teeth--just crooked enough.

People are starting to notice that I've lost weight. I've had two remarks from friends in as many days.

Friday, November 5, 2010

On the Mend

As much as I try not to take them, antibiotics are a wondrous thing. I am feeling infinitely better, thank goodness.
I was able to get that upper body workout in today--albeit minus any extra cardio. I even did it with the same weights I used last week and didn't have to decrease them. It did stimulate a hefty cough reflex, but not so bad as to be prohibitive,and it calmed down after the first 15 minutes or so.
I've had to make myself eat the last several days. Being sick has hammered my appetite, but I've stayed compliant.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010


I have often wondered about how my resolve wanes in times of illness or stress or duress otherwise unclassified. A trainer and friend of mine once shared some wisdom about that with me that made a lot of sense. He described it as a glass of energy that started out full, but it is all we have for any particular time period. The more we have going on, the more that energy gets drained into various directions. As simple as this is, it made a lot of sense to me and had never occurred to me before.

I have been quite sick the last few days, sleeping more than I have been awake, dragging around like the undead, living off of ibuprofen, vitamin C and zinc. My symptoms have been fairly nonspecific, just fever and lots of aches and pains, and a migraine most of the time--with the occasional cough. As I started to think about it, I began to realize it was the same way I felt last year when I ended up in the hospital because I'd been ignoring a pneumonia for 10 days. Sooo, tonight at work we snapped a couple of quick x-rays, and sure enough, there was one sitting in there. That's the bad news. Good news? Antibiotics should make it go away fairly quickly, and I got those started tonight.Needless to say, I haven't had a lot of surplus energy to put in my workouts. I did do the whole body workout yesterday, but I didn't do any cardio after like I've been doing. I did the lower body workout today, but I did decrease the weights some to get through it. Again, no cardio. Tomorrow is supposed to be EEW. In the beginning, they told us EEW could be any of a number of things, including rest days if that's what our bodies need, so tomorrow will be a rest day for me. Hopefully, I'll be feeling well enough to hit some kind of workout on Thursday.I had a splurge meal on Sunday, but otherwise I've kept compliant despite a seriously jacked-up appetite. I'm having to make myself eat because nothing sounds good at all.Ahh, the bumps in the road!

OH! I ALMOST FORGOT! Biggest week ever last week--2.5# down!