College Roomie & CME

I went to a continuing education conference this weekend on Amelia Island a couple of hours away. At times, I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. I was in a room full of hundreds of other doctors, and I was one of a select few of them who was actually a healthy weight and who was active and fit. It was tragic. Equally tragic was the almost total focus on pharmaceutical interventions as opposed to lifestyle modification and assumption of personal responsibility. We had multiple lectures on diabetes with only one that mentioned lifestyle modification for prevention and reversal. We had a lecture on ADHD that didn't even ONCE mention management with proper nutrition and avoidance of certain food additives. It was truly dismal in many ways. I did include a couple of pics from the syllabus on the one good lecture addressing lifestyle modifications for diabetes treatment. That one lecture was quite refreshing.

I kept my workouts up while I was gone despite having forgotten any suitable shoes for the job. I had one pair of dress flats and a pair of ankle boots with heels and that was it! Soooo...I worked out in my socks in the fitness room. To use the elliptical, I had to put towels in the footwell for cushioning. Some other folks started trickling in as i was finishing up. I'm pretty sure they thought I'd lots my marbles. I had to get my workout it though!
My nutrition was good but not perfect. I had one completely non-compliant meal while visiting with my friend but otherwise did well since I packed a bunch of stuff to take with me. The food at the Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island was amazing, like they had a garden out back where they just walked out and picked everything and grabbed a chicken just for that one meal. I don't know how they did it, but man, did they ever!
Before I went last week, I did a little shopping, and for the first time in years didn't hate every second of it. I needed to get a top to wear to a wedding that I'm doing the photography for on New Year's Day, so I went to White House Black Market where I thought I'd be most likely to come across something and where I knew they were having quite a sale. I discovered while I was shopping that I am a remedial shopper. I must be led around by my nose to accomplish anything. Left to myself, I never find anything. Nothing, I tell you! Fortunately, the manager at the store grabbed a ton of stuff and threw me in a dressing room. I came out with a ton of stuff and wore lots of it this weekend. You see two of the outfits below.The gal you see with me is my college roommate, one of my best friends in the world. I had not seen her for six years before this weekend. We spent hours catching up, and I enjoyed every moment of her company. I miss having her as a daily part of my life.

Thanksgiving--Not the Holiday

Today on one of the Lean Eating logs one of the coaches posted a little piece of wisdom that really hit home with me.

"How would you like to work really really hard and have someone crap on you? It sucks, right? Now imagine your body as that person who toils away thanklessly, day after day. It loves you and wants you to survive. Spend a few minutes with it and say thanks."--Krista Scott-Dixon

I try to be particularly vocal of my gratitude toward the people in my life. In general, I feel like voicing one's gratitude is not only the right thing to do, but I think it is good for the souls of both parties. Recognizing another's contribution to one's life increases one's appreciation of it, and in turn makes the other person feel appreciated. So, I try very hard to be grateful and to show that I am grateful. That I would be such a horrible ingrate to myself is not only ironic but tragic, but I am. I see little more than disappointment when I look in the mirror. I am over-analytical and harsh. I can look in the mirror and be thankful for my dear hubby who loves me regardless. And more often than not, when I see that reflection and am disappointed in it, my next immediate thought is of how fortunate I am to have a husband who sees me with love-blurred vision. Reading Krista's words, however, started my day off differently today.

Today, I spent the day trying to be thankful--of myself. I am always, each and every moment, thankful to the point of tears for my life in general. I am quite literally the most fortunate/blessed woman on the planet. I am, not, however, very thankful for my body in the way that I should be. I look at and focus on its faults and disappointments. How wrong of me! Look at what my body can do...what it does for me! It allows me to live an independent, mobile, active life. I do not struggle to complete simple daily tasks. I am flexible and strong. I can roll around on the ground and take pictures or pull a patient up in bed by myself. This past spring I taught my nieces how to turn cartwheels. I am not limited in what I want to do by any physical weaknesses. I am 37-years-old, and I don't even think about my age being a crutch. Patients I see and people I work with practically have themselves in the grave by the time they're 35! How inconsiderate of me to think so poorly of this body that does so well by me! I would be so pissed if anyone talked to a friend the way that I talk to my body. So it changes. From here on out, my body is my bestest friend.

Weigh in yesterday was no fun. I was up half a pound, which is my second week of increasing weight instead of decreasing. My measurements were pretty much the same, though my chest measurement was a half inch smaller.
The Thursday before we started this adventure, I weighed 170.5#. The hubby and I went to a friend's wedding that weekend. I did the photography for it and splurged a bit at the reception. When I got home, I weighed 174.5#, and that is where I started the program. Now, 9 weeks in, I find myself still above the weight with which I went into that weekend--with negligible changes in my measurements. A couple of weeks ago I was finding it fairly easy to maintain a positive attitude. That, however, has become increasingly more difficult which ends up stressing me more because I know it is counterproductive. So I decided this morning when I weighed in that I wouldn't weigh in anymore until Saturday when it is scheduled for the program. What I've been doing obviously isn't working, so I will start with this simple step.
At the risk of TMI, it's now been 2 months since my last period. My headaches, too, have become much more frequent, and I'm finding myself taking ibuprofen and/or Imitrex what seems like four or five days a week (maybe I should track this better) and other times just suffering through to see if they'll go away on their on. I have thought a lot about this over the last week, and finally last night realized something.
My last period was the first of August. Shortly thereafter my parents' began have some problems with their already failing health. I spent all of my days off in August in TN as a result. Problems continued in September but began to smooth out some. Work, too, has been increasingly busy and more stressful with pressures coming from multiple places. Before we moved to FL, I had gone 3 years without a period and headaches were a constant issue. Both returned to normal after we moved. My perceived stress level was really no different, but obviously it was. I certainly think stress is playing a big factor here. My question is, "How much is it playing into my difficulty with weight loss?" The knee-jerk answer is "a lot," but I didn't lose a bunch of weight when everything improved after we moved despite continued effort. So who knows?!