Monday, April 26, 2010

Overwhelmed

Monday, April 26, 2010
170#

This post will be a little here and there, but here goes....
I earned my next "prize" by staying the course for the last 2 weeks. The end of the two weeks came Saturday and with it a splurge meal, with that a literal drugged feeling, my food hangover. It's taking me a while, but I am beginning to learn. Crappy food makes me feel like, well, crap.

Today I am feeling overwhelmed by life. It seems everything I do in turn leads to something else I must do and maintain and I'm freaking a little about it. My summer calendar looks like someone vomited multicolor ink all over it. ( I will reiterate, "HOW DO PARENTS DO IT?!") I haven't been able to keep in touch here, and it's killing me. Which leads me too...

I have picked up a couple more followers here lately. I am constantly humbled that people read what I have to say. Many thanks to all of you for coming here.

I made my hotel and flight reservations for CK-FMS last night. WOOHOOOOO!

Back to that overwhelmed thing...I know it doesn't sound like it, but I really am trying to pare life down some. Over the winter, I became really fond of those days when I had nothing to do but be at home. I found a peace that I had not felt in a long time, a sort of radiant happiness with life. Sometimes, on my stretches off from work I might not leave home at all. I'd get up, have a nice, long workout that wasn't pressured for time, play with the dogs, wander around the property, eat a little something, maybe do some cleaning, maybe complete a project, maybe do nothing. There was a time when this would have driven me apeshit, but not now. Now I relish these times. I wish I could describe it better, but these days like this are my recharge. Because the seas got blown out further south in Venice, I am enjoying one of those types of days now. I was supposed to be shark tooth diving today. As it is, I'll be cavern diving this afternoon and the next 2 days, then work, then cave class, then work, then--well, you get the picture.I'm trying to get a few more blank days on the calendar and keep them that way. The blank days are good for the soul.

Not only am I behind writing posts, but I am also behind reading them. I did a little catching up before writing this post and had an interesting observation in the process. While part of me enjoys reading Tracy Rif's blog, another part of me finds a great deal of anxiety there. My comparing myself to her is one of the major reasons I feel so inadequate as a girevoy. She is AMAZING, ripping that 16 around like it's nothing, maintaining a beautiful physique, cooking, cooking, cooking. In many ways this is inspiring, in others it is a banner telling me how pitiful I am. But something she wrote in a recent post really hit home to me today. She mentioned being fortunate enough to work out 4-6 hours every day. 4-6 HOURS! How wonderful! I can't even begin to imagine. She has mentioned that before, but for some reason it registered today. I am comparing apples and oranges.

WORKOUT: None today. It's an off day.

THE LAST 5 DAYS' WORKOUTS: Again, Pavel's fighter pull up routine. This week was 7RM with the pull ups and push ups, 5RM with the partial pistols.
I can feel things beginning to really wake up and figure out these motions. My lats continue to learn to fire better and with that, my elbows are tracking a stronger route, both in the pull up and the push up. I am also beginning to learn the sequence of tension from the ankles up, especially with regard to the pull-up. Generating full-body tension in the pull up has been difficult for me, but I am beginning to get it.
I am learning a lot in the pistol, too. Foot position has become huge for me. I have learned that a slight angle of the foot outward allows my great toe to line better with the rest of my leg, thus allowing my quad and ham to fire more productively.
Progress is coming in small increments, but I can feel it coming.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Pride

Monday, April 12, 2010
169.5#

It's a funny thing, pride--one of those strangely dichotomous things that is at once a wonderful thing and a horrible one. One person's source of pride might seem ludicrous to another. Pride can motivate a person. After all, on some level, pride is part of why we bathe every day and wear clean clothes and brush our teeth and hair. We want to look at least remotely presentable. Taking pride in our appearance and our work ethic and our other good qualities helps us to be good, productive citizens. Pride in ourselves can motivate us to eat better, to be active, to continue to learn instead of becoming stagnant in our professions. It makes us stronger, smarter, faster, more graceful than we would be without it. Pride in our homes helps motivate us to keep them clean and tidy. Pride certainly is not always a bad thing.

I have realized, though, that pride has not always been a good thing, either. Granted, it has done all of the things mentioned above, but I think that in some ways it has hindered me as well. As strange as it might sound, sometimes we need to take a step back and objectively evaluate where we stand. We need to look at where we are, not where we want to be, and assess our strengths and weaknesses and address them honestly, not trying to be more than we are, no matter how desperately we might want more. For what seems like forever I have been struggling to do a pullup and a pistol. Some form of assisted or partial pullup or pistol has been a part of my workout for well over a year now. I have wanted so desperately to move closer to these goals that I have pushed myself to take bands away too early or perform a particular movement any way necessary to get a momentary sense that I am accomplishing something. Recently I started Pavel's Fighter Pullup Program. It uses a ladder program to increase reps and can be used, with bands, to bring one closer to a pullup if they can't yet accomplish one. It works by building on a person's three or five rep max. Before starting it, though, I had to honestly assess my three rep max and my five rep max. For once, I cast my pride aside, and although I felt like a total loser, I chose what in my eyes was the path of the physically weaker individual and started the program with one more assisting band than I really wanted to.

That was five days ago. Already I am humbled by my own stupidity. In those five short days I have finally managed to begin to feel the groove of the pullup. I've finally begun to feel the full-body tension I have been trying to learn to generate for the last 6 months. And I finally feel like I might actually be making progress.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Three Steps Forward, Two Steps Back

Monday, April 5, 2010
171#

Pardon my absence last week. I've been in Tennessee visiting the family. I did stick to my plan as it was laid out, no added salt, no processed starches or sugars, BUT I guess I ate too much of what I did eat because although I had seriously hoped that Mom's dryer had slightly shrunk my clothes, the scale says different now that I am home. This morning I was back up to 171#. Honestly, I'm hoping that there are a few more factors involved with this. (SKIP AHEAD TO THE NEXT PARAGRAPH HERE IF YOU'RE A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT GETTING TOO MUCH INFO). While my periods are slightly irregular, I should be about a week away from a cycle if I estimate based on the number of headaches I'm having, my moodiness, and my decreased strength in my workout today. Also, I'm just not as "regular" when I'm traveling, so I'm thinking a couple of days at home will "get things moving." Maybe I can contribute a couple of those extra pounds to those things and remove them fairly quickly.

I did manage to squeeze in 3 workouts while I was there. You'll see those below. Life was hectic last week--as it will be this week. I'm trying not to beat myself up for my lack of perfection.

MY NEXT GOAL: Now that I have hit that second goal of 2 weeks without added salt or processed starch or sugar, I have to move on to another. This time, if I make it 2 weeks with an average daily calorie intake of 1500, I'll buy the Hobo handbag I want. If not, Mr. Calleo gets his pick of book from Dragon Door.

TODAY'S WORKOUT:
3 3-rung ladders of C&P with the 20kg. I had to do push-presses on all but the first rep of each rung. Between ladders I did 3 one-legged deadlifts on each side with the 20.
Last week when I did this workout, I did strict presses on the first two reps of each rung. I consistently see this sort of drop off in performance/strength the week before my period. I have been this way for a while and wonder if any other women have noticed the same thing.
I was supposed to do 5 minutes of snatches with the 16kg, but this got jacked up, so it was a wash.

Whatever, the workout sucked, but at least I got one in.

YESTERDAY NO WORKOUT: Last day with Mom and Dad then spent all night driving back to FL.
SATURDAY: 1000 16kg swings

FRIDAY: Squat-thrust with a jump/16kg swing pyramid
start with 20 STJ's and 10 swings, work down to 2 and up to 100

NO WORKOUTS TUESDAY THRU THURSDAY

MONDAY'S WORKOUT: Bodyweight workout with pushups and partial pistols because my brother didn't bring the bell over.
SUNDAY NO WORKOUT

SATURDAY NO WORKOUT: Traveling to Louisville.
Now for a little eye candy...