February 29, 2008
Work 6p-8a

Just when you're wondering what the heck is going on... somebody switches it up on you. I've been wallowing in self-pity lately--missing Marc, exhausted, desparately wanting and needing more than a day off so I could fly to Florida. Wallowing, I tell you. And just as I'm wearing down, as my reserve is being sapped, I walk around the corner in the ER and there he is. He drove 700 miles to be with me on my day off which is tomorrow. And my world is suddenly a happy place to be.

YESTERDAY'S WORKOUT: 15 min of 16kg turkish get-ups=16
Rest 3 min
15 min of 5 push-ups (from the knee) + 20 16kg swings= 15 sets
TODAY'S WORKOUT: 15 12kg snatches Right, 15 Left, run 2 minutes for 6 rounds.

February 27, 2008
Work 6p-8a
167.5#

I went to work out with David yesterday and had a great time. Frankly, got my ass kicked but I needed the endorphin rush. Maybe I'm coming down off it and that's why today has been a particularly hard day. I'm very grumpy...very. As much as anything, I would really like 2 consecutive days off. I'm gonna get really drunk on my one other day off this week which is Friday--alcoholic calories be damned--and maybe that will help some.

Lats are wicked sore today.

YESTERDAY'S WORKOUT: Snatch + Squat with 16kg. AMAP for 15 min. 39 snatches/side. 38 squats.
Rest 5 min.
Pull-ups (assisted) alternated with push-ups. 33 pull-ups, Push-ups 32
Rest 5 min
Tabata with the 24kg (which is a bitch, BTW)

TODAY'S WORKOUT: Snowing like a son-of-a-gun. Swing 30 sec w/ each hand then run for 1 min. Repeat 8 times.

Back Jowls

February 24, 2008
Work 6p-8a
168#

Back jowls are those extra folds of skin that overlie the latissimus dorsi, a bane of obesity that I particularly despise. I have seen back jowls on folks the depths of which have not been cleaned in nigh unto a decade. Some people don't like feet, or belly buttons or whatever body part... Back jowls particularly displease me--mostly on the 400 pounders (though I admit gnarly feet kinda get me, too. And I hate phlegm.) So periodically I check to see how close I am to being rid of this nemesis. I am proud to announce they are almost gone. Now they amount to little more than extra wrinkles, like back dimples maybe. And I noticed, too, that my shoulders are almost a nice square right angle. Overall, I'm slowly just becoming less ROUND. I catch glimpses of the possibilities, find myself thinking, "When I hit 140 or 145, this is really going to be nice, or that will be defined quite nicely." "If" is in my vocabulary less and less.

WORKOUT: Today's workout was a Tabata type workout--20 sec of burpees, 10 sec of rest, 20 sec of 16kg swings, 10 sec of rest. Repeat cycle 4 times. Short, sweet...a nice little pick-me-up. It may only last 4 minutes, but it's a butt-kicking four minutes and I love it.

Organic Milk...He Does Listen.

Friday, February, 22, 2008
Work 6p-8a
The affirmations from Florida just keep on coming. Marc and I had a decent conversation today about how he's been doing a lot of thinking these last couple of days regarding how he's let himself go the last two years. He had been trying to eat better before he left,and he said he has carried on with that since he's been gone. I couldn't believe it when he told he not only bought groceries but chose organic milk! I'll be damned he actually has been listening. Maybe popping the seal in his currently too small dry suit didn't hurt any either. :)
I am faring moderately well here. My insano schedule for the next 3 weeks will actually serve a purpose, I guess. If I can physically survive it (14 hour shifts beat the hell out of you), being at work helps me forget the apartment is empty at home. I would, however, have liked to have a few more days off. I had sort of thought about doing some "2-a-days" on my off days while he was gone, but as it stands I'll just have to sleep the whole day. Oh, well. C'est la vie.

WORKOUT: Workout 1: With the 16kg.
15 min AMAP Turkish-get-ups... I managed 18.
Rest 3 minutes.
15 minutes of 5 push-ups alternated with 20 swings. I think I managed 13 sets, but I had a hard time keeping up the count. Gotta get better at that. The push-ups were from the knees because my arms were smoked after those get-ups.

An Epiphany for the Hubbie...and Maybe Me, Too

Thursday, February 21, 2008
Work 6p-8a

One of the things that I have been hoping would come of Marc's time in Florida is an awakening for him with regard to his health and fitness. Such awakenings generally occur early in a process, and his has been no exception. I talked to him after his first dive today, and the first thing he said was, "I'm out of shape...and 40 pounds makes a big difference in a dry suit." I think folks don't realize how quickly a sedentary life robs them of strength and vitality, and he doesn't really think about how little physical activity he really does get. Diving has always been easy for him, second nature, so he breezes through the technicalities of it and until recently he was at least fit enough that open water diving was no big deal. When he went through his original cave training, he had worked out specifically for that for weeks in preparation, thus floating through it at the time. Diving is one of his greatest loves, so for a simple open water basin dive to wind him has really opened his eyes. Fortunately, he's been wise enough to delay the water portion of his training until he feels more physically ready. Finally, diving has done in one day what I've been trying 2 years to do.
Meanwhile, I've had a little awakening of my own. After royally flubbing up by letting my 12 kg bell get away, I e-mailed David to ask him what we'd be doing and generally to whine about how temptation is much harder to resist when emotionally taxed from other things. I wrote......."My goal is to limit my dessert consumption to one time each time I get to see him, but I know myself, and my temptation is going to be to say,"oh, woe is me! I'm sitting here alone in this apartment. I miss my husband. I deserve a dessert to keep me company and make me happy." At the time I wrote it, I was proud of myself for my insight into the pathology, for understanding what drives me and my failures, but David set me straight today, noting what I should have seen from the beginning, "That is PLANNING to go off track, plain and simple. It reads like you have already made up your mind to fail." I am slowly realizing that how we word things in our minds is extremely powerful. 9 months ago, my internal dialogue was one of hopelessness. I was a fat girl who was in shape and "tried" to eat right. I am now a fit girl who does eat right and is slowly reaping the rewards. Such a small difference that matters more than I could ever imagine. Now I just have to apply it everywhere.

WORKOUT: Okay, so I am a goober. Here I asked David to rework the plan because I forgot to get that bell and I can't even keep up with what day of the week it is. Until I sat down to plan my workout for tomorrow, I thought today was Wednesday (one of the hazards of working the graveyard shift is never knowing what day it is), so I did Wednesday's workout. Crap. Oh well, I'll get on track tomorrow... maybe.

15 min of as many snatches and squats as I could get in...turned out to be about 62. It's kind of hard to count.
Rest 3 min.
15 min of as many OA rows and C&P's as I could get in...turned out to be 58.

I was supposed to do a tabata thing after this, but apparently on Wednesdays that are really Thursdays, I just ignore that entirely. Oh well.

Day One Testing My Mettle

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Off

     My hope is not to let this blog become a digression toward whining and lamenting over the next few weeks.  Instead, I would like to talk some about my coping mechanisms which will require me to talk at least some about my mindset.  Coping mechanisms will be the important focus because they obviously have been so dysfunctional in the past.

     Marc surprised me and decided to leave first thing this morning--just after I came home from work, actually.  I had thought that I would at least have one more night to "store up" some time with him and prepare mentally for (or pout about) the upcoming separation.  But I came home and started scrambling to make sure he had everything he needed in the truck and 5th wheel and I had everything out of them.  With that completed, I told my baby girl (the golden retriever Abbie) to take care of her dad, snagged a kiss on his begrudging cheek, and sent them on their way.  Granted he was headed toward warm weather and a great deal of fun, but it hurt my feelings a little that he was so excited to be heading out for so long without a definite plan when we'll be able to see one another again.  My estrogen fully kicked in, and I decided I should just go to bed and get some sleep.  No one copes well sleep-deprived. One advantage of working a long, hard 14 hour shift is being asleep before my head hits the pillow most of the time.  I'm glad this morning was no exception.

     I woke to a very empty apartment and wandered around for about 30 minutes trying to gather my thoughts and immediately  noticed a key oversight in the packing--most notably one of my 12kg bells.  I had forgotten to get it out of the truck where it had been for the trip to Chicago.  SGD!  Thus began the cussing tirade.  With that out of my system, I e-mailed David to let him know I'd f-ed up the plan for this 4 weeks and asked if he could rework my workouts accordingly.  I'm hoping to have a new plan by tomorrow, but if he's not able to get me one on such short notice, I'll just improv to the best of my ability.

     Thus began my day, and after dinner (my breakfast) with friends, I wandered aimlessly for a while, managing to buy groceries in the process.  I decided that cooking a big pot of soup to eat on my 4 night stretch wouldn't be an all bad way to spend the evening.  So I bought veggies for that and some other goodies that I thought would be nice to have at work to eat.  Most of the rest of the night I have spent trying to figure out what it was I've been telling myself I need to get accomplished.  It's been 12 years since I've had the prospect of many solitary nights laid out before me, and I'm not accustomed to not considering someone else in my plans.  

     On a different note, I was pleasantly surprised to see that my weight this morning (Marc remembered to get the scale from the RV for me) was only up 1/2 pound from when I left for Chicago.  Not bad, considering.  So I decided to measure, too.  Here's the damage:

      Today                                                                                       Dec 16

Weight 169.5#                                                                             176.5

Waist       32.25"                                                                         34"

Hips        41                                                                                  42"

WORKOUT: Interval 2  Snatch (12kg) 15/side then jog for 2 min. REpeat x 6.

I did this at the gym because the weather here was miserable today.  Did the jog on a treadmill which added an interesting twist. Total time was about 25 minutes.  I think it ended up being so long because I switched from the elliptical after the first round because a treadmill came open and because it took me a few seconds to get the timer restarted after I jumped on the treadmill.

Testing My Mettle

Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Work 6p-8a
Historically, when I finally lose weight and come to a point that I am closer to a healthy weight for my size, I come across a stressor that sends me over the proverbial edge, drives me straight to the fridge for comfort. During the most recent episode of this, I gained over 20 pounds in two months as I tried to decide the next step of my life. That was almost 3 years ago, and I have only now lost the last of that 20 pounds. Life is life, and as such, stressors always come. I think the next one to substantially test my nutritional mettle has arrived.
The hubby and I have been pondering our existence of late--wondering where we are going with our lives and how long we're going to take to get there. As a result of this and some other things, he decided today to move to Florida for the next 2 months to do some diving, get his certification to teach cavern and cave diving (he's already an instructor who has been certified to do his own cave diving), and generally just soul-search a bit. Naturally, work holds me here, and I will be left behind to follow as my days off allow. I don't do well apart from him. It's a fact; I just don't. He is truly my other half, and when we are separated, I feel lost, walking aimlessly in circles trying to figure out what to do next. So I am a little worried about how my resolve will fare under the stress. My intent is to simply buckle down further and take advantage of the time to myself, allowing it to be a time free of distractions. We'll see if that actually works.

WORKOUT: Circuit 2:
All with the 12 kg today because I have been a bit under the weather. This workout is actually the Monday workout, but I postponed it because I felt HORRIBLE Sunday and was only beginning to feel human again yesterday, so I didn't want to push it.
r l r l r l
Snatch 19 16 17 17 16 18
OA Row 15 15 15 14 14 13
C&P 8 7 7 7 6 5
Squat 11 12 11 11 12 10

doing one min each drill, completed w/ 1 arm erst one min then repeat with the other arm. 3 rounds each arm for a total of 6.

Lesson Learned

Monday, February 18, 2008

Off

So out of nowhere my blog just goes, "POOF" and disappears!  I couldn't believe it at first when I couldn't find my blog.  I thought maybe the server was just down or something, but then Anthony C. posted that his was gone, too, and I began to mourn the loss of all that time and effort.  I know I should have had better sense that to think that nothing like that would happen.  I should have kept my own back-up.  But honestly, that never was a serious consideration on my part.  The lesson is learned, now, however, and I will begin the backup as soon as I figure out the best way to do that.

We just got back from Chicago where we've spent the last 5 days at  a scuba convention marketing some of my husband's business products there.  We had a really great time meeting some pretty cool and occasionally fairly famous (at least in that industry) people.  We talked and shmoozed, had some good meals here, took a class or two there, and generally made the most of the long weekend.  This is the farthest off my diet I have been since starting this venture last July, but I'm going to do my best not to beat myself up over it. Instead, I plan to buckle down and fall right back onto a good path now that I am home. I did, however, stay on my workout program.

WORKOUTS:

Wednesday before leaving TN: Workout #2

1 min each drill

                                                R  L            R  L             R  L

Snatch                                   10  10         11  10           18  18

row                                        12  12         10  10           14  14

C&P                                         4   4           5    4             8   8

Lunge                                      9  11          10  10           13  13

*Completed all drills with one arm, rested one minute, then repeated with the other arm.

* The first 2 rounds I did with the 16 kg then finished up with the 12 kg because my arms had just been completely smoked.

Thursday: The Hyatt had the greatest hotel gym I'm ever seen--better than a lot of regular gyms, and I thoroughly enjoyed working out there.

Interval 2: Snatch 12 kg 15/side then run (or in this case elliptical machine) x 2 min for a total of 6 rounds.

Friday: Circuit 1

                                             1 2 3 4 5

Double Snatch 12 10 10 10 9

Double C&P 4 5 5 5 4

Double Squat 6 6 6 6 6

Alternating Row 9 9 10 10 8--per side.

1 mn each round for a total of 5 rounds, 2 min between rounds. 2 12kg bells.  I actually had to set down the bell after the snatch and C&P on each round, though I wasn't supposed to.

Saturday: Scheduled as an off day, but I did 40 minutes on the elliptical machine to sort of compensate for being too liberal with my calories.

Sunday: off day