My hope is not to let this blog become a digression toward whining and lamenting over the next few weeks. Instead, I would like to talk some about my coping mechanisms which will require me to talk at least some about my mindset. Coping mechanisms will be the important focus because they obviously have been so dysfunctional in the past.
Marc surprised me and decided to leave first thing this morning--just after I came home from work, actually. I had thought that I would at least have one more night to "store up" some time with him and prepare mentally for (or pout about) the upcoming separation. But I came home and started scrambling to make sure he had everything he needed in the truck and 5th wheel and I had everything out of them. With that completed, I told my baby girl (the golden retriever Abbie) to take care of her dad, snagged a kiss on his begrudging cheek, and sent them on their way. Granted he was headed toward warm weather and a great deal of fun, but it hurt my feelings a little that he was so excited to be heading out for so long without a definite plan when we'll be able to see one another again. My estrogen fully kicked in, and I decided I should just go to bed and get some sleep. No one copes well sleep-deprived. One advantage of working a long, hard 14 hour shift is being asleep before my head hits the pillow most of the time. I'm glad this morning was no exception.
I woke to a very empty apartment and wandered around for about 30 minutes trying to gather my thoughts and immediately noticed a key oversight in the packing--most notably one of my 12kg bells. I had forgotten to get it out of the truck where it had been for the trip to Chicago. SGD! Thus began the cussing tirade. With that out of my system, I e-mailed David to let him know I'd f-ed up the plan for this 4 weeks and asked if he could rework my workouts accordingly. I'm hoping to have a new plan by tomorrow, but if he's not able to get me one on such short notice, I'll just improv to the best of my ability.
Thus began my day, and after dinner (my breakfast) with friends, I wandered aimlessly for a while, managing to buy groceries in the process. I decided that cooking a big pot of soup to eat on my 4 night stretch wouldn't be an all bad way to spend the evening. So I bought veggies for that and some other goodies that I thought would be nice to have at work to eat. Most of the rest of the night I have spent trying to figure out what it was I've been telling myself I need to get accomplished. It's been 12 years since I've had the prospect of many solitary nights laid out before me, and I'm not accustomed to not considering someone else in my plans.
On a different note, I was pleasantly surprised to see that my weight this morning (Marc remembered to get the scale from the RV for me) was only up 1/2 pound from when I left for Chicago. Not bad, considering. So I decided to measure, too. Here's the damage:
Today Dec 16
Weight 169.5# 176.5
Waist 32.25" 34"
Hips 41 42"
WORKOUT: Interval 2 Snatch (12kg) 15/side then jog for 2 min. REpeat x 6.
I did this at the gym because the weather here was miserable today. Did the jog on a treadmill which added an interesting twist. Total time was about 25 minutes. I think it ended up being so long because I switched from the elliptical after the first round because a treadmill came open and because it took me a few seconds to get the timer restarted after I jumped on the treadmill.