What Was I Looking At?

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Work 6p-8a--154#

I went to the Dragon Door website to look up the men's requirements tonight and thought I'd just glance at the women's requirements. For whatever reason, I was placing myself in the 165# weight class, but if I'm looking at it right, at 154# I should fall in the 148-165# weight class. WOO HOO! That means I only have to do 40 16kg snatches. I'M THERE! I'm not sweating this nearly as badly now. WHEW!

Here are some more pics from last weekend. In the last two, D is trying to tell me how many years old he will be in a couple weeks. It's actually 3-years-old.

Facing Things Head On

Thursday, September 25, 2008
Work 6p-8a--154#

My last name growing up started with an "A." As a result, I was most often first for everything, good and bad, in school. Oral presentations, PE performance evaluations, whatever--I was always the first to be required to step up. Years of doing this conditioned me to look forward to this position-no long, drawn out period of dread--approach the project prepared, do the work, sit back and watch as everyone else sweated the wait. Eventually, I just started volunteering to be in the first 3 or 4 of anything. I hated sitting, waiting, doing nothing as my mind drummed up a thousand ways I could fail or otherwise humiliate myself.

My dad, an ex-Marine, was aware of my fear of the dark. As a result, he would always wait until the last small glimpse of light was disappearing to tell me about those times I needed to be the one to feed the animals or the one to take the garbage out. On a small farm in rural Tennessee, we had no outside lights around the house, much less the barn. My father always felt they ruined the view of the night sky (as an adult I now agree, but I'm still glad he eventually added the light to the outside of the house that we can turn on when we need it). The barn was about 200 yards from the house and, at the time, had no lights at all, so I had to go with a flashlight--if we had one with batteries that worked. Absolutely scared out of my mind, I would make the walk to the barn, do the feeding and watering, and absolutely haul ass back to the house, all the while convinced that some soul-sucking goblin was lurking behind me ready to pounce at any moment. But I went, and I got the job done. And at some point 20 or so years later, I realized what he was doing all those years. He was showing me how to function in the face of my fears. I have an amazing father.

Too bad he didn't know what a block I've got about jumping...

So today when I approached my workout which was scheduled to be 3 light rounds of 12 16kg snatches per side followed by a minute of rest, I decided I had to know if I could get 50 snatches with the 16. I started with the less strong arm, getting 23, then got 25 with the stronger one. I'm two away. Not what I hoped, but better than it could have been. Then I finished the other rounds.

On a different note, many, many thanks to all of my friends out there who continue to read what I have to say and who comment and give words of encouragement, including much needed swift kicks in the ass. I really can't even begin to tell you how much I appreciate you and enjoy our friendship.

More pictures from this weekend...I put them in because I love seeing everyone else's pics, regardless what they're of. Should you begin to bore of them, or become annoyed by their presence, please let me know.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Work 6p-8a, 154#

I've officially had my first wig-out spell regarding the looming RKC courtesy of today's posted pictures from the most recently completed one. I got Dragon Door's mass e-mail when I checked my box about 9pm and promptly clicked the link for the pics. Intellectually understanding that I am going to be the fat kid (yet again) is somehow different from seeing it in full color on the internet. Too, being the fat kid is one thing if you still kick ass in the process, but all of a sudden I'm scared to death that I'm gonna make an ass of myself instead of kicking ass. Knowing that I am going to be performing in a higher weight class than I had intended doesn't help any either. I had a minor meltdown and e-mailed David with a plea that reeked of estrogen, begging reassurance. I hate those moments when I'm an absolute, full-blown puss. I may need to grow a set before I get on that plane. I seem to have lost mine.

So to a realm where I feel more confident...Here are a few of those promised pics from this weekend.

NO WORKOUT today. It was a scheduled off day.

Team Sport or Individual?

Monday, September 22, 2008
Off-155#

The need for acceptance is one of life's great motivators, and as such, I believe the idea of being part of a team appeals to many of us. I am, in many ways, an individualist, thriving in situations where I can function alone, unhampered by others' preconceived notions of how things should be done. I do not rigidly adhere to my own ideas when I am offered another, better solution to a problem, but I have found that others do, at least until they have wasted too much of my precious time trying to convince them of the better way. This rigidity and willingness to waste time arguing an invalid point is what sends me off on my own. I often find myself painfully disappointed by others' inability and unwillingness to think outside the proverbial "box," their ineptitude, their lack of dedication, their downright laziness. At the risk of sounding conceited, I seldom find myself inspired enough by people to want to be a part of their team.

Alone, however, we have a tendency to stagnate. One of the beautiful aspects of being part of a team is being elevated to the level of the better players (assuming one chooses his or her team wisely). Of course, our "teams" can be any number of peer groups--an actual team, the people with whom you work, a workout group, or a book or photography club. The key is to surround yourself with people who have the same drive, determination, and skill level you have--or even more if you can. Being around others this way will spark creativity and discussions that will lead to exchanges of information. The teammates who are more skilled will inspire and instruct while those with skills not quite as good as you will prompt you to understand your skills better in order to teach and elevate them. The intellectual interchange with people of similar interest can be amazingly stimulating. And not to be overlooked, is the value of a sense of belonging.

This last year I quite often have found myself missing this stimulation. At first, I didn't understand exactly what was wrong, why I felt so much like I was floating aimlessly. Then I went to California for a photography class. While I was there, I was a part of this amazing group of photographers who made me understand how painfully elementary my skills are. I was so outclassed as to be embarrassed that I was there. As I said many times that week, I am not accustomed to being the remedial student, but eventually I realized there was nothing I could do about it except spend as much time with the others as I could, learn from them and get better. The experience was amazing, exhilarating, and enlightening. Thinking about it in retrospect, I began to understand that being a part of a stimulating group like this one was what was missing. Though the hubby provides a great deal of intellectual stimulation, he has little interest in some of my favorite things and therefore cannot provide the type of feedback and exchange that I miss. Though I have amazing and wonderful friends here, they, too, have different interests and haven't exactly been able to provide that feedback I seek. (This is slowly changing, however, as some of my friends pick up kettlebells and enjoy them.) Most of my life, I have been a part of groups of some sort or another, often in a leadership capacity, but always as a part of some sort of intellectual interchange. The last time I clearly had that type of comradery was over 5 years ago now, in residency. Fortunately, though, the internet has snuck up on me and provides some of that stimulation that I miss. Reading forums and blogs have begun to fill that gap. Where they fall short is in the lack of real-time interaction. I miss sitting down and hashing out a problem by brainstorming with others who stimulate me, bouncing ideas around until hours have passed without our even noticing, discussing the details and the possibilities, with open minds and lots of fervor.

Today, David sent me a new program; we'll be working on getting ready for the RKC. When I got this, I realized that we are 3 weeks away from it. Already, I've been in contact with Sandy who is also going, and I have a lot of hope for a great long weekend. I have a lot of hope for being a part of a team again.

Here are a few of the pics from that weekend in January...

TODAY'S WORKOUT: Still on the original program. Will switch tomorrow.

6 sets of...
Double 12kg squat 30sec
Double 12kg C&P 30 sec
rest

3 12kg snatch ladders 10/10, 15/15, 20/20. I didn't quite blast through this like I did last time, but it felt okay. I've noticed a little less wind here lately, feeling like my breathing pattern isn't quite right, like I can't get a good deep breath at times. I often feel it when I drink too much water, and it doesn't seem to be associated with palpitations which have to be a consideration in light of the Wolff-Parkinson-White. I think it's mostly my pattern being off. Will keep an eye on it.

Football Funday

Sunday, September 21, 2008
off-154#

We had the treat of having some "chosen" family come to stay the weekend with us. My godson is one of my few willing subjects for my photography, and I had the chance to take a few pics of him yesterday (I'll post those tomorrow). Today, we watched football in the way only a true football family can--lots of yelling and jumping up and down, a few high fives and plenty of food and soft drinks. I snapped a few pics during half-time, so I'll share those today.

WORKOUT:
None today. It was a much needed off day.

YESTERDAY:
5 rounds of 30 sec each of
20kg one-arm row, R
20kg one-arm row L
Pushup
8kg split squat R
8kg split squat L
rest

Then 6 rounds of 25 20kg swings.
...And it felt good.

Friday, September 19, 2008
Off

I think I'm finally back on track for my workouts. FINALLY. I've shifted them around some because of some family coming to visit this weekend and actually grouped the more difficult ones more closely together, but I'm still hammering through them pretty well. I'm so pleased. I was really beginning to worry how that was going to size up for the RKC in a few weeks. I've come to accept that I am going to be in a higher weight class for the snatch test. I think I'll be ready anyway.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Off--154.5#

Got froggy tonight and took some pics of the baby girl. Thought I'd share.

WORKOUT:
5 sets of 30 seconds each...
20kg row R
20kg row L
pushup
8kg split squat R
8kg split squat L
rest

then 6 sets of 25 20kg swings.

Played in the park with friends.

Fight in the Dog

Monday, September 15, 2008
Off-153.5#

Tonight's Monday Night Football match-up was Dallas vs. Philadelphia and one helluva game--over 50 points scored in the first half. Though I'm definitely a Titans fan, I think overall I'm more a fan of individual players and their attitudes. Sometimes, their attitude on the field is what wins me over, and sometimes it's their attitude off the field although we all know that most of the time those are pretty close to the same. Tonight, Marion Barber was a force to behold, smashing through opponents like a fat kid through cake. I love to watch this type of determination. He starts the run dedicated, knowing he'll see it through to the end. And often the run ends when he says it does. One can see it in his eyes, his facial expression, the way he moves. He is dedicated to the run, to getting one. more. yard. In a word, it is beautiful.

It's this type of dedication from which we can learn. Start the task knowing you will complete it. Push. Hard. See it through to the end.

TODAY'S WORKOUT:
6 sets of...
30 sec 12kg Double KB squat
30 sec 12kg Double KB C&P
Rest

Then...3 sets of 12kg snatches 10R/10L, 15R/15L, 20R/20L.

This felt MUCH better today. I made it through the first 2 sets of this without stopping then made it through the 10's and then the R sided 15's before putting the bell down briefly. I did the next 15 and the next 20, set the bell down briefly again and then finished up the last one. I'll take it.

Why Not To Drink and Drive

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Work 6p-8a

Off from workouts today.

Here's what a few beers will do to your 2008 Nissan Versa... The 58 year old man who did this is not an alcoholic or a derelict. He doesn't even drink on a regular basis. He was just out "having a few beers."

The guy walked away with ONE scratch on his right ear even though he was not wearing a seatbelt. All hale side curtain air bags! Yes, dude is now in jail.

On the Road to Right

Saturday, September 13, 2008
Work 6p-8a
154.5#

I'm still not hitting 100%, but the workouts are definitely getting better. I've been working really hard NOT to push myself to make my numbers match up to what they were before Monday's debacle, but instead to listen to my body. This is really hard for me, but I keep telling myself that it's for the best. In that same vein, I'm also going to take Sunday off. It's laid out as my off day, but I had planned to workout through it to make up for the 2 days off earlier in the week. Before Tuesday, I had not missed a full workout since July 19, 2007. ( I missed half of one in August.) That's not to say that I haven't had off days; they were just planned. As strange as it may sound, in some ways this is actually a lot of stress off my shoulders. I no longer have the stress of keeping my perfect attendance streak up. And, yes, I am a bit OCD.

TODAY'S WORKOUT:
6 rounds of 30 sec each of Double 12kg squat, double 12kg C&P, Rest. These numbers are actually consistent with the last good version of this workout I did.
Then...3 rounds of 12kg snatch ladder 10,10,15,15, 20,20 rest 2 min, 10,1015,15, rest 30 sec 20,20, rest 2 min, 10,10,15,15,rest 45 sec, 20,20. The last time I did this before the debacle, I went straight from the 1st ladder to the second one and past the 15 rung before I set the bell down.
YESTERDAY'S WORKOUT:
8 rounds of 2 16kg TGU's per side.
Then... 8 rounds of 16kg snatches 1 min/side then 1 min rest. My numbers here weren't quite as good as they were last time, but they were okay considering.
THURDAY'S WORKOUT:
5 rounds of 30 sec each of...
20kg row R then L
pushup
8kg split squat R then L
Rest

20kg Swingsx 25...6 rounds

This is essentially my "light" workout, and it felt okay, not 100%, but okay.

Utter Disappointment

Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Off-155#

WORKOUT:
I took yesterday off after Monday's workout debacle. Haven't felt right since, so I'm probably taking today off, too. I gotta figure out what is going on.

Old Dogs, New Tricks

Monday, September 8, 2008

154#

Work 6p-8a

"Hello, my name is Jennifer, and I have been clean for 16 months..."

I say this in jest, but in all honesty, I equate my relationship with refined sugar to an addiction. Not so terribly long ago I longed for sweets any and every waking moment. Now, I look forward to a splurge every 2 weeks or so. I plan it in detail, and I actually believe that I enjoy the anticipation of it as much as I do the splurge itself. (Come to think of it, I'm pretty dang fond of the breads and other carbs I allow myself during this splurge meal, too). Last night as I was preparing one of my favorite snacks, it occurred to me that I was really looking forward to it--not just in a "well, if I can't have chocolate chip cookies" sort of way, but in a "wow, this is gonna be really good" kind of way. I've come to the point that I enjoy the fresh fruit as much as I do the processed sweets. Now, the idea that the cookies and pies and what not are better is completely a mental thing for me. Thus the wonder of adaptation.

WORKOUT:

Workout 1:

6 rounds of the following

30 sec double 12kg squats

30 sec double 12kg C&P

30 sec rest

Then 3 rounds of 12kg snatch ladders 10/10, 15/15, 20/20.

THIS WORKOUT SUCKED! I've been feeling weaker during my workouts the last week. My numbers have stayed the same, but I just have felt weak. Despite waking up feeling good, today, I was just NOT right. My numbers for the first part of the workout were about the same as usual, maybe a couple less-though during the last set of C&P's I had to do mostly push presses. And the reps just felt weak. The second part of the workout, though, just absolutely SMOKED me. I'm talking lightheaded, dots in the vision, cold sweat, 'bout to pass the f^@% out smoked. Where the entire workout should have taken me less than 30 minutes, I barely eeked by in 50 or so. I thought very seriously about just quitting. The last few times I've done this workout, I blasted through the first ladder, started the second without resting, set the bell down briefly b/w the 15's and 20's then for about a minute b/w the 2nd and 3rd ladder. Today, I had to rest before I even finished the first ladder then every time I finished a rung. This was just not normal for me-- in any variation of my reality. It's been probably 2 years since I've had a workout this off.

It's not unusual for me to have a week or so of weak workouts here and there. I muddle through them and usually come out the other end fine, often making pretty good gains for a little while after that. I chalk it up to normal human cycles though I can't verify that or predict it based on menses because I have been ammenorrheic for so long (sorry if that's TMI). This was worse than what i am accustomed to, though. I was even really shakey for a couple hours after the workout.

I'm about 2 weeks into an intermittent fasting type thing, eating one meal/day with 2-3 snacks of less than 250 calories interspersed through the rest of the day. I have been keeping my total caloric intake about the same--certainly no less--as it was before, though my macronutrient ratios are quite different. My protein intake has been about 30-50 % of my calories, fats about 30% and carbs the remainder. Admittedly, I have had more carbs (though whole grain carbs) than usual by about 50% the last 2-3 days. I usually eat a snack before my workout, and today was no different as I had a protein shake just prior, a habit I was in regularly for the last several months, only changing to fruits the last 2 weeks.

I've been off work for a couple of weeks, but my sleep cycle has been regular, and my schedule in general has been no more off than usual.

WTF?

Maximum Potential

Sunday, September 7, 2008
Off--154.5#

Regular season football is officially in full swing. Some love the game; others hate it, but anyone who has a rudimentary understanding of the game has to admit that it provides us with not only beautiful displays of teamwork but also some elegant and impressive displays of athleticism. Few things are more beautiful than a player in an all-out sprint for the end zone, ball neatly tucked and chugging to the rhythm of the gait. In case you couldn't tell, I happen to be one of the ones who loves the game, so I was excited to be able to spend my Sunday curled up on the couch. Sunday night's game was between the Indianapolis Colts and the Chicago Bears. Football fans instantly know that means we'll be seeing a lot of Peyton Manning and Marvin Harrison--and hearing a lot about them from the commentators. Much of the talk tonight was about Harrison's being the second oldest receiver in the league, having been born August 25, 1972. 36-years-old. The "experts" have their doubts that he'll be able to maintain the level of play that he has held so well for the last 11 years. They feel he's topping the hill, if not over it, professionally.
My initial response to this conversation between the commentators was sadness for Harrison, though rumor has it these conversations just fire him up and inspire him to play that much harder. Then, a moment of panic hit when it occurred to me that he is only a year older than I am. It was only a moment, though, because I quickly realized that in this area I am actually at an advantage over an elite athlete. As a matter of fact, most of us have that advantage. At the elite level, youth definitely works in an athlete's favor. Years of hard training, hard knocks, and life take their toll on the human body, and whether we like it or not, with time we become slower, often weaker, and really don't perform as well as we had the potential to once upon a time. The good news is that because most of us didn't maximize our physical potential at any point in our past, we have to opportunity to be better now, at this age, than we were in those years that the "experts" feel should have been our best. Though I ran 6 miles a day at age 20, I am definitely better conditioned now than I was then. I am definitely stronger. And since I still have room to go, next year I will be stronger still.

WORKOUT: None. Today was an off day.

SATURDAY'S WORKOUT:
Workout 3:
8 rounds of 2 16kg TGU's per side

Then...16kg snatches 1 min R/1 min L/1 min rest for 8 rounds.

Perceptions

September 6, 2008
Off-156#

Kettlebells have been a part of my life for years now--at least 4 years, maybe longer. (Time does fly). I was hooked the minute I picked one up, quickly casting aside the dumbbells and barbells that had been a part of my life since age 15 in favor of the "cannonball with a handle". Don't get me wrong. I know barbells have a place, and I still will pick one up on occasion. I just love kettlebells and the other odd contributors to fitness such as ropes and tires, rings and sandbags. They make more sense to me in light of the way we move in the real world, and I actually enjoy playing with them. Since I found them, I have been telling anyone who would sit still long enough about kettlebells.

The funny thing is, until recently, few people actually listened. They would politely nod and ask appropriate questions only to walk away as soon as possible without hurting my feelings. Now, however, people truly listen and some have even been asking me to teach them more, asking if they could work out with me. The simple difference is about 38 pounds. Though I worked out just as hard then, put in just as much time, got up just as early, loved it just as much, people just didn't pay attention because their perception of me as a chubbling led them to believe that kettlebells couldn't possibly be an effective tool if I used them like I said I did yet continued to look like I did. Sure, fitness professionals understand that no manner of increased activity is going to break down the walls to weight loss without significant dietary changes, but the lay perspective is just the opposite. The average joe believes that the key is the activity. So to uneducated eyes, my activity, i.e. kettlebells, was not adequate. This misperception was actually one of the reasons I so desperately wanted to be leaner. I wanted the credibility it would provide me.

Whether we like it or not, our words are gauged not only by our actions, but also by our appearances. As a medical professional, I am a bit more believable now when I tell patients that they should lose weight or quit smoking. I'm not perfect by any means, but I come a little closer to living by example.
38 pounds ago.


Today a couple of friends were brave enough to try out some of the things I've been raving about for so long. I can't wait to hear what they have to say about it tomorrow. :)
TODAY'S WORKOUT:
5 rounds of 30 sec each of...
20kg row R
20kg row L
Pushup
8kg split squat R
8kg Split squat L
Rest

Then 6 rounds of 25 20kg swings with 20 sec rest b/w rounds.

I also did some swings, cleans, and ropes with the buddies.

YESTERDAY'S WORKOUT:
6 rounds of 30 sec each:
Double 12kg squat
Double 12kg C&P
REst

Then...12kg snatch ladder 10/10, 15/15, 20/20 for 3 rounds. I did the first 2 without rest, but took a minute b/w the second and third rounds. I also had to set the bell down briefly b/w the 15/15 round and the 20/20 round.

WEDNESDAY'S WORKOUT:
8 rounds of 2 16kg TGU/side

Then... 16kg snatch 1minR/1 minL/1 min rest for 8 rounds.

TUESDAY'S WORKOUT:
See today's workout.

**This week has not felt particularly strong--actually a little weak. I've been off work, so my schedule has been all over the board. I'm still not sure if that is the culprit or if my recent switch to some intermittent fasting is to blame. I'm going to stick to the intermittent fasting for at least 2 weeks more to see what, if anything, it breaks loose for me. I'll reevaluate at that point. I'd like to be down to at least 148# for the RKC to decrease my snatch requirements. That goal seems quite lofty at this point, but I'm gonna give it a run. The kicker is that I have to keep my training up, too. Everything is balance.

Meeting Friends

Monday, September 1, 2008: Labor Day
Off-Drove home from Shreveport

The depth and breadth of opportunities provided by the internet never cease to amaze me. What amazes me more than anything about it is how I have made such good friends who I have never met face-to-face. These are folks with whom I thoroughly enjoy corresponding, with whom I look forward to catching up. And even some whose ear I quickly turn to in moments of happiness or despair or utter frustration. Until recently, I had never had the opportunity to meet these people in person. I took the chance this weekend to make it one of those opportunities and drove down to Houston to hang out and work out with Anthony C. for a few days. Sunday we even got to see Nia Kelley when she, her fiance, and her pup Max drove over from Austin to visit with us.
I can't even begin to tell you how much I enjoyed this weekend! Anthony and his wife were wonderfully gracious hosts (especially considering that I pretty much just said, "Hey, I'm on my way to Houston. Waddaya wanna do?") and made me feel right at home--introducing me to real Mexican food and a little chocolate shop that I pretty much decided was a preview to heaven, and sharing some fine conversation over a little wine and beer in what has to be one of the best courtyards in the history of bars. Saturday morning Anthony put me through the ringer with his infamous "W" workout at the park in front of his house. I must share with you that this little (I say this because he readily speaks of his stature as "little") guy is FRIKKIN' STRONG. He is quite self-deprecating in his blog and forum posts, but take my word for it. He is strong. He also has a mental fortitude that is impressive. Sunday Nia drove down to eat brunch with us, and we had a phenomenal time just sitting around. I was pleased that the ease of our friendships online carried over to reality when tested. I felt like it was the most natural thing in the world to be sitting with these great people, having this great conversation, sharing these wonderful moments. And I felt so priviledged.

BTW, Now I have to have a tire like Anthony's. And I have to learn to do box jumps like Anthony. I am a jump retard--much like I am a pushup retard.

TODAY'S WORKOUT:
Did this after the 8 hour drive home from Shreveport.
Workout 1
6 rounds of
Double 12kg Squats for 30 sec
Double 12 kg C&P for 30 sec
Rest 30 sec

Then 3 rounds of 12kg snatches 10r/10l, 15r/15l, 20r/20l
I did the first 2 rounds back-to-back, no rest anywhere. Then I rested for 1 min and did the third set. I had to set the bell down after the 15/15 set for just a second then again between the 20r and 20l.

YESTERDAY'S WORKOUT:
In the a.m. before brunch in Houston
8 sets of 2/side 16kg TGU's

8 sets of 1min 16kg snatch R/1min 16kg snatch L/1 min rest

SATURDAY'S WORKOUT: W workout with Anthony C.

FRIDAY'S WORKOUT: Same as today, but rested for a minute b/w each of the 3 sets of snatches.