Friday, April 11, 2008
13w, 5d to pics 165.5#
Slept 6 hours. Work 5p-8a.
The emergency department has "flavors of the day." I may have talked about this at some point already, but it truly does. Today's flavor has been addicts and crazy people (that would be the highly technical medical term). Sometimes this flavor is entertaining. Tonight I have simply found it sad. At times I felt the futility of things weighing down my soul. There is no end to humankind's ability to abuse itself and all that surrounds it.
Perhaps I should have said that the flavor of the day is "futility" because come to think of it, I awakened this afternoon with that sense, a fact that no doubt has colored the way I look at each patient in the ER tonight. My mood being such that it is in light of the ER's flavor tonight is interesting, certainly makes some patients more difficult to deal with. Regardless, I was thinking as I got up and ready for work about what clothes I am going to pack to take on my next trip to the Sunshine State, and I had some realizations. I am in the same pair of jeans that I was so excited to buy in January. And I still cannot wear (without embarrassment) the pair of pants I bought slightly small in January in anticipation of being able to wear them in a month or so. I know my measurements are slightly smaller (1/2-3/4 of an inch) and my weight is about 4-5 pounds less, but I had genuinely hoped for more visual results by now. And I had really hoped for being a size smaller, too. This realization on the coattails of the 168 that showed up on the scale on Monday really jumpstarted my attitude today.
In light of these realizations, I have spent what little free moments my mind has had tonight thinking about what i need to be doing differently to accelerate change. My calories are in the 1500-1700 calorie range which I feel is appropriate, and David has said that he would like to see me in the 1600-1800 range. I should be good there. Just before I left for Florida last time and since I have gotten back, I have tried to follow his other advice which was to keep my carbohydrates below 100 and my protein above 120. That has been going quite well. Since coming back from Fl, Splenda has been cut out completely. I just don't think that cutting my calories any more would be productive. As hard as I'm pushing my body, it just can't be wise to eat much less than what I am. (Any thoughts?) That leaves kicking up the workouts. I just got my new series from David,and it has, indeed, increased in volume, so we'll see where that leads me. Any observations or ideas here would be appreciated.
WORKOUT: 12kg Workout B:REnegade Rows 5R/5L, 20 Swings, AMAP in 30 min--23=3 more than last time.
Artwork by Alexis: A friend's daughter drew this "portrait" of me the other day. Funny what a 6-year-old sees. I was proud to see that I am a rectangle, not a circle, and I have a smile on my face. My hair isn't quite long enough to reach my feet, though.